choosing to see her heart

bailey is my most complicated child. which makes it tricky to love her well.
the ways that i would choose to love her, aren't necessarily the ways that will make HER feel loved. i have to REALLY study her and see where her heart is (which can be very different from one minute to the next!) to know how to love her well.

she has always loved horses. and we've had her do a couple small beginner camps in the past. and we've tried to get her "into" a sport...but she just isn't. so she hasn't done any sport/activity for the past year.

this summer we are letting her take horseback riding lessons. we gave her the choice of either a more advance week-long camp, or weekly lessons. she chose the lessons, "so she could look forward to it every week." i took her to watch one and i watched her face the whole time. awe and wonder. that's what it was.

i can't believe that we can do this for her. i'm so very thankful.

later that week, she asked for bangs. i made her wait a day and she still wanted them. so, i watched a couple youtube videos on how to cut bangs, bought some scissors for cutting hair, and cut that girl some bangs. i love them on her. and she loves them. but, even if i didn't love them, i would still be so glad i did it. it showed her that i heard her and cared about her heart's desires. NOT that i will give all my children their heart's desires (good grief!!) but, when i can, and when it's something that holds no eternal value (i.e. hair!) i hope that i will always value them being HEARD and KNOWN versus my own wishes or opinions for them. my guess is that this desire of mine will be challenged in more drastic ways than "bangs" as our kids get older ;-) i will need to come back and read this then!