Tuesday, February 2, 2016

it's been awhile

it's been awhile, too long, since I've written from my heart here.

I have a few minutes. and i'm choosing to write with them. lately, I've chosen lots of other things. and they've been good decisions. but today I choose to write.

life is good. no. no, that's not true. there are lots of "good" things in our lives...our health, our home, our family, and on and on. but life in this world is full of pain. the kind you can see and is appropriate to talk about. and the kind that isn't.

i'm not going to go down that trail today, though.

in our home, in our family, we are in a pretty routine kind of place (if you can call transitioning to watching a 5 month old full-time "routine" - ha! maybe we just have gotten better at going with the flow?)

I've finally come to admit that we are in a new stage. and we're not leaving this stage anytime soon. the one where our kids often stay up later than us. and pat and I have to LEAVE the house to get time to talk. I have fought this tooth and nail. but 14 year olds don't have 8 o'clock bedtimes. boo. I miss my time with Pat. and being "done" at 8 pm. and it makes me cranky sometimes. {lots of times}. but i'm trying to adjust. pat and I have never been good at "date nights"...but we are now. EVERY Monday night, we go out. just for a drink at Panera. but we get out and can have a conversation without listening ears :-).

i miss my "read through the Bible in a year" plan. i'm trying to get into the habit of something new...that dives deeper instead of cruising through the Bible so fast. but i'm not sticking to it like i did the 1 year Bible plan. and, man, do i need some TRUTH to get in my head and heart in the middle of my day. i'm still trying to figure it out...

5 years ago this winter, i was struggling with depression. it took me awhile to know what i was dealing with. and even longer to admit it. it lasted 6 months and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...that darkness. every winter since then, I've struggled with little fringes of it...during those dark, dark days that winter is made up of. it was never as bad as that first year, but it was always there. but this year?? NOTHING. no darkness. i haven't had to pull out my "happy light" once ;-) i still wake up most mornings and, before i even open my eyes, i can tell my heart is light. and i thank GOD that He has chosen to let this winter be light for me. i do NOT take it for granted. it's not circumstantial...there were "easier" winters that should have been "lighter" on my heart...and this winter could easily send me into darkness. but depression doesn't really care about circumstances. at least from what I've experienced. i'm just thankful every.single.day that it's a winter of light for me. and i pray for those that are struggling with that darkness. it's enveloping and suffocating and awful.

i'm out of time. off to feed a baby and pick up kids from school and help with homework and make lunches. and dinner. and play chutes and ladders (i got beat twice yesterday...I've got to win today!) i'm always hopeful i might squeeze in a little yoga in the afternoons. and never do. it's always good to dream big, right?? ;-)

happy Tuesday! i pray yours is full of LIGHT today!

Monday, February 1, 2016

celebrating my mom

it was my mom's birthday on January 20. so this is WAY overdue. the blizzard took over life for awhile :-)

because it was on a Wednesday, my mom AND sister both had off work. so we met for lunch! it was such a fun treat!! and we had 2 sweet babies, too...which made things...busy.

and the blurriness of this picture feels appropriate - ha!
my mom is one amazing woman. the older I get, the more I realize how amazing she is. i'm so thankful for her. for her wisdom. for her love. for her grace towards me. I love you, mom!!

blizzard 2016 - the phone version

same snow. different camera :-)

the snow started on Friday afternoon. so we went sledding that night. knowing it was going to be WINDY and snowing ALL day the next day. that was fun!!
 we tried to keep up with it throughout the day Saturday. it was a bit overwhelming!

keeping myself sane in the house.....sometimes you just gotta look at things from a different perspective ;-)
 we couldn't even walk to our sledding hill...but there was enough snow in our front yard!

 sunday morning was SO beautiful! the blue sky. the white snow. it was stunning.

 sunday night football.
Monday morning we all squeezed into pat's jeep and he took me to the gym. it was a TRUE act of love. and wisdom. on his part ;-)
 he played basketball with them while I worked out, because the kids club wasn't even open that day!
he was worried about our porch roof collapsing. so he got out there and shoveled it off. made me SO nervous!
early in the week, bailey said she wanted her hair cut. like, REALLY cut. I gave it a couple days, and then took her! it looks so good!!
the kids ended up being out of school ALL week from the snow. it was a pretty good week, considering all that time! we really didn't do anything amazing. lots of sledding, chores, puzzles, games, reading, baking and just enjoying life with NO schedules!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

blizzard 2016

so we got some snow :-)
around 3 feet of it.
that's a LOT of snow. around here, we don't really know how to handle that. so everything has been shut down for DAYS, even the federal government!

we've eaten a lot, sledded a lot, shoveled a lot (!!) and had a lot of "together" time.
 on Christmas day, the kids "group" gift was new sleds/tubes for the snow. it was 70 degrees that day and felt kind of silly. but we sure were thankful for them this week!!

the snowboard has been the biggest hit.
Joshua and sawyer have gotten pretty good at it!
the kids have been out of school all week so far...and i'm guessing they will be the rest of the week.

it's been fun to have a project to work on when we're not shoveling. or feeding the kids. or sledding. or doing laundry. our basement is coming along!!!

 classic "sawyer face"
 love those pink cheeks. but would prefer them to be sunburn at the beach ;-) {remember that picture??}

 the snow is beautiful. but you know what might be even more beautiful?? the fact that they can ALL put on their coats, hats, gloves AND boots all by themselves!!!
blizzard 2016. you've been fun. we're having a blast. but we're good for another year ;-)

Thursday, January 21, 2016

basketball and babies

it feels like that's been our life so far this january :-)

rebekah has 2-3 basketball games a week. (her shooting a foul shot in that first picture). and joshua and bailey have 1. plus practices.

joshua got strep a couple weeks ago. which kept him from his game :(.
bailey gave him the play-by-play of her game as soon as she got home. he DID care...he just couldn't get up.
we celebrated christmas with my side of the family on january 9. my niece, ellie, has my whole heart. it was such a nice, relaxed evening. pat and joshua had to stay home (he had strep then) and we missed having them there!

i have the BEST friends. in a matter of 20 minutes, both of these things were left on my doorstep one morning. my favorite food (avocados!) and my favorite flower. i felt so loved!
 this little girl wraps herself around my heart more and more each day. :-)
 the faces of my mornings. i'm beyond blessed.
 i'll leave it at that ;-)

and bailey's foul shot. she gets her form from me - ha! she is really liking basketball, though!! i love that for her! she asked pat to take her to the gym and practice this past weekend...that says a lot!
this was taken MLK, Jr day...the night before, lincoln prayed, "dear God, thank you for MLK, Jr. because without him we couldn't be a family."
 yesterday was my AMAZING mom's birthday!!!! my sister and i took her out to lunch. we need to do that more often!
i caught sawyer and his friend watching and talking to sweet baby corey yesterday afternoon. i think we're all in love :-)
in 24 hours, we're supposed to get the beginning of a BIG snowstorm. it's probably going to cancel some fun plans we had this weekend...which i'm trying to be ok with and embrace hunkering down for a few days with this crazy crew of mine!