Tuesday, September 27, 2016


I am alone more hours of my days now than EVER. probably literally EVER. I grew up in a big family. I lived with lots of people in college. having HOURS to be alone is new for me. so far, i'm loving it ;-)

yes, I had a big of a hard reality check when this day came. but I've quickly come to enjoy and appreciate the time. I made a little "deal" with myself heading into this month. I agreed to 2 things:
1. NOT commit to anything (long-term commitment, i.e. NO "every Wednesday I do this" or "every other Thursday I meet this person") for at least this first month.
2. Don't start any BIG projects that will stress me or my family out

I've seen plenty of people and done some small projects around the house, but I've stuck to my deal and it's been so refreshing!

I can FEEL my heart and mind adjusting. I can't yet HEAR what God has for me in this new season, and that's ok.

each day my goal is to love my family the best I can. i'm meal-planning with actual recipes (which hasn't happened in close to a year), i'm putting jokes in little boys' lunch boxes, i'm praying for each of them throughout my day, i'm getting stuff done so that I can be present when they get home from school and work, and i'm leaving some time with nothing scheduled so that I can listen to a sermon or make some phone calls for Pat or go for a walk with a friend or make pumpkin bread for the neighbors.

it all feels very...awesome. some moments I feel guilty for having the time. I just never have! but i'm choosing to be THANKFUL. and i'm trying my best to be obedient in this season, just like I have in every other season of life God has placed me. charging through a season and checking things off lists like a madwoman comes way easier to me than slowing down and listening and being present. this is truly stretching for me but i'm determined not to jump into my default state of just being "productive". I don't want to miss the things God has for me here.  

my favorite

sunday afternoon walks are my FAVORITE. my family knows it. so they agree to it most sundays. Rebekah brought a camera along so we got some pictures this week! :-)
 there's ALWAYS a ball involved.

 such a great way to end the weekend and start a new week!

Monday, September 26, 2016

so full

our weekend was SO full. started Friday afternoon with getting Sawyer's chipped tooth (bike accident the afternoon before) fixed. (front permanent tooth. not that bad. but needed to be fixed...he was a trooper!)
Saturday was soccer, soccer, soccer...(sibling football game on the sideline :-))
with some chores in any minutes we could squeeze them in...we worked past the sun going down (cause it's going down SO EARLY!! BOO!!)
finished the weekend with a sweet birthday celebration for Corey. that girl continues to bring JOY to a world full of pain.

morning routine

just a tiny peek into the morning routine around here. sawyer thinks ANYTHING Joshua says or thinks or does is PERFECT and amazing. including however he wants to "do" his hair. some days it's a Mohawk, some days it's "preppy", some days it's "Bryce Harper." it doesn't really matter. by the time he comes home from school, it always looks the same ;-)

the depths

unless I experienced it myself, i'd never believe the depths of the beauty, drama, kindness, ugliness, silliness, stress, mess, and words that are all wrapped up in the 1 hour and 20 minutes between when they get up and when they head off to school. it takes me 5 hours to recover. before we do it all again. but for 7 more hours.

Friday, September 23, 2016

you are amazing

if you happen to be here. i'm so glad. I miss sharing my heart in this space. and i'm close to being back here!

but, for now, know that you are amazing. THAT is my heart's cry for you. that you would KNOW that you are amazing. don't compare yourself to the others that you see on Instagram. or facebook. or blogs. or even to the person that you've made up in your head that you need to be.

BE YOU. who you are today. do the next right thing. you know what it is.

we need to stop looking around so much and just listen to our hearts. listen to what God is telling us to do and say and be. others will always fail us. but His truth NEVER will.

i'm guilty of it, too! it's constant. we have to continually re-direct our hearts to what is true.

have a wonderful weekend. it'll have bright moments. and hard moments. and typical moments. and extraordinary moments. embrace them all.

popcorn for dinner

we missed pat being gone...

but we had popcorn for dinner one night and that made things a little better.