rest

a couple weeks ago i read an article somewhere about how maybe our bodies need more than 1 day of rest (those of us that exercise. a lot.) why? to TRULY let our bodies heal and recover.

i read the article and moved on. {like. "NO THANK YOU!" moved on.}

but it kept coming back to mind. i've learned so much over the last year about how food (and eliminating some foods) can heal my body. in ways i didn't think were possible.

then i thought, "maybe i should NOT exercise for a whole week."
and as soon as i thought that, i thought, "NO WAY. i can't do that!"

and as soon as i thought THAT, i KNEW. the only thing i want to hold THAT tightly to is God.

so this week i'm resting. resting my body. for a whole week. 8 days to be exact. no running. no crossfit. no swimming. no burpees. no bootcamp. nothing.

i KNOW this sounds crazytown to most of you. "um? so you CAN'T exercise for a week and this is hard HOW?!?"

maybe if you are addicted to coffee. or TV. or facebook. and had to give it up for a week? but that doesn't even truly get to the heart of what this means for me.

God has me in the middle of teaching me something big. huge. and i'm still learning and my heart is fragile so i hope this makes sense...

all my life i have strived to be ENOUGH. and all my life i have felt like i am NOT enough. i will never be enough.  i've recently realized this and can honestly say i only have myself to blame. no parent or friend or church put that seed in my heart. i grew up being loved and being taught love. it's all me. i've somehow come to believe lies to be truth and truth to be lies.

but He is, ever so gently, telling my striving heart that I AM ENOUGH BECAUSE HE LOVES ME.
period.
i KNOW that is true. but i don't truly believe it. 

this week is a little tiny way that i am choosing to NOT strive and just rest in Him.

physically i hoped to have ENERGY and feel great. that's not what has happened. i feel tired and cranky. oh well. my heart knows it's where it's supposed to be and that's what matters.

i've walked this road with my Father long enough to know that if He puts something on my heart, i might as well not fight it and just go ahead and do it.

and, although i hope to feel stronger next week when i run/swim/bootcamp it up! if i don't? it's ok. the important part was this week...the process...the stopping and resting. 

{an extra bonus has been some more sweet time with these 3 boys in the mornings :-)}