back to "normal"

 {my baby}

man. i LOVE my mornings with these 2 little boys. so sweet. so simple. i need as many of them as i can get right now.

we stopped on the side of the road and watched dump truck after dump truck pour our their dirt...he was in heaven!

i haven't talked "feelings" lately...because i am struggling with feelings of hopelessness right now. and i feel like a broken record. i KNOW things take time. and God is working. and i need to keep my eyes on Him and choose LOVE in all things. but all of that is hard when ugly moments turn into ugly hours turn into ugly...well, you get the point. I WANT ALL THE UGLINESS TO END! mostly the ugliness of my heart, but also the ugliness that affects the atmosphere of our home at times and puts instant walls up in my heart. ugh. hopeless.

{my first baby}

that says, "mom. guess what?" and when i say, "what?" he says, "i love you!" with the CUTEST smile.

it's a game i've played with all my kids. 

he's the only one that does it back to me. 

and i melt.