Thursday, July 14, 2011

eyes wide open

had THE best hour or so last night.

i just want to remember it. to relish in it. it was beautiful.

bailey swam in her first swim meet {more on that later}
pat took the younger 3 home to get them ready for bed and stayed to watch a little more of the meet with bailey.

it wasn't something i had thought about. but spending 30 minutes with this little girl (rebekah and joshua were off with their friends...or swimming...but bailey enjoyed being with me :-)) will brighten ANYONE'S day!
her excitement having had JUST finished her first race. her sweet voice. her cute little body with that suit on and just a sweatshirt over it. her missing 2 front teeth. her orange smile from her gatorade. hearing her talk about...well...anything and everything. she is the BEST! i LOVED it!!!
and then, THEN...

i left. pat and i were going to switch. i was headed home {left the older 3 at the meet} and he would come back to watch the rest of the swim meet {they last until about 9:30 pm on wed nights.}

i had his car. there were NO kids. and the new zac brown band cd i had given him on monday for our anniversary was on. it was THE best 10 minutes of my day. the heat had finally let go of the day and it was PERFECT to have the windows down. my hair blowing all over. the music turned up LOUD. listening to this and this {i LOVE zac brown band! AMAZING musicians...and his VOICE!} it's amazing how many thoughts you can have in 10 uninterrupted minutes!

i am a wife and a mom. i love it. it's hard and exhausting and requires a LOT of me, but i truly enjoy it {most} of the time. i don't go through my days feeling like i've "lost" myself to do this. and then there are moments like last night driving home. where little bits of me that are always left hidden come to the surface. it's not that i'm NOT me when i'm being "mom"...but, oh, i don't know. i think it just felt good to NOT be "mom" for those 10 minutes. that's all.

4 comments:

Leighann said...

I love this post. Totally relate. I love having a few minutes in the car to myself. :)

Angela said...

Me too Courtney! I did a post on that once...NO kids, LOUD music, HAIR BLOWING ALL AROUND. I get it. I do. We LOVE being wives and mothers - WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD... but somehere in there is still a girl. a girl who loves grown up music, solitude, possibilties of uninterrupted creativitity, GOOD BANDS (love them, too!) and feeling free...:) ahhh, i am with you sister!! even just for ten minutes,i am good!
Hey, also wanted to say that i have followed your blog for so long and honestly, i just love you. I really do. I relate SO much to you it is astonishing. I have 4 kids, LOVE being a mom, and love to RUN and love God love to write and someday would like to adopt. I follow you closely and while I don't always comment I am ALWAYS thinking about you and your family. I wish I could meet you someday! I really feel like I know you. :) You are a beautiful person, really beautiful. I admire you for your strengths but i also admire you in your weaker moments because that is when I relate to you the most. Thank you for your light which is indeed radiantto all and I pray that God blesses each new day with your 2 new boys. You are a BRAVE woman! :)It IS a hard road I hear and only the ones completely reliant on HIM will make it..YOU DO THAT! I am SO excited to keep following along with you on the path God has you on. Exciting!
Be blessed today sister!

Angela Riesterer
Vancouver, Wa.

PS All of your videos have made me sob...and my husband, too. :) Truly beautiful. :) ♥ God is good.

Michelle said...

So glad you had those few minutes to yourself! And love that toothless grin!

Beckysblog said...

I so hear you. There are days when driving, ALONE, with the radio blarring is simply the best therapy.
I think its feeling young and carefree...