choose

my heart is loud.
so so loud.
satan is doing a number on me.
and he knows JUST where to get me.
get me busy and running around like crazy and my heart gets so loud and filled with stupid stuff that i can't hear my Father.

it's a busy busy day.
it's been a busy week.
and it will continue.
i'm beyond frustrated with potty training.
i'm over my afternoons being such a struggle - from every angle.
my heart is aching over this whole adoption process...it's so so hard and ugly and there are moments when i want to throw in the towel. 
i'm tired.

but i've been choosing to dwell on those things.
instead of the TRUTH that i can claim.
that HE is in control.
and that His grace is sufficient.
and that i can say NO.
and that people are more important than things (lists and tasks).
that i can have His peace even amidst a busy day.
that He loves the orphan. all of them. and He's told us clearly to bring 2 of them into our home. and He will be with us every step of the way. even when it feels like the road is crumbling.

this song brought me to my knees.
i need to run...my hands still need to be busy this day...but i hope and pray my heart will choose Him.