this week

this week has been CRAZY!
following on the tail of our "Hurricane vacation"
and bailey's birthday

we hit the ground running with school starting
and soccer practices
and pat gone tues AND wed night {NOT good planning on our part...}
and planning a "fancy tea party" for bailey's party tomorrow morning!

the kids are all doing GREAT.
so thankful for that.
they love their teachers and school and soccer.
they are so happy.

I AM SO TIRED.
rebekah made me a card this afternoon
"mom. i'm sorry you're so melo {mellow} or sad. i love you. love, rebekah"

i feel badly that she noticed.
i was just quiet and not my usual "lively" self...but maybe it's ok that she noticed...
i definitely started crying as i prayed for their dinner.
i'm just "on the edge" in so many ways!

dinner on the soccer field {we were there from 4:45-7 pm!}

sawyer has been very fussy the last couple days.
i think he misses them.
after bailey got on the bus today he cried and said, "school" over and over.
NOTHING would appease him.
i finally just put him to bed {30 minutes early!} and took a nap myself.
a good choice for both of us i think.

he thinks he's SO big all of a sudden.
climbing up big playgrounds and going down slides all by himself!

i am loving NOT training for a triathlon.
i am glad i did it.
and i do think i would love to do another one.
someday.
not any time soon.
i am LOVING deciding what i want to do for exercise each day...not feeling like i HAVE to do something.
i haven't swam {swum?} since the triathlon...weird for me.
i probably will get back to it next week...or not... :-)

my TRUE love is running.
ahh...
already planning on how to fit a long run into our saturday full of soccer games :-)

bailey sharing all about kindergarten with my mom on wednesday

and papa called to hear about it, too! :-)

i've been thinking this week {when do i NOT think?!?}
and noticing that many of the other moms weren't seeming to have as hard of a time as i was with the first day of kindergarten.

then i realized that i brought it on myself...
my kids don't go to preschool.
we never did "mother's day out" programs.
or camps.
most other kids had been gone for hours each week for years so this wasn't a big adjustment, just a new schedule for them.
{before i go any furthur...this is NO judgement or statement here...these things are good and each family needs to decide what is best for them...this is what has been best for US.}
they go to church. and the gym twice a week {at the most}.
when i just had rebekah we did "play groups".
lately, if i get together with a friend and her children, it's because i want to hang out with that friend...not for the kids {that's just a bonus!}
but we maybe do that once every 2 weeks.

other than that, they are with me.
that's my choice.

and i have no regrets.

i sometimes wondered as i was in the midst of those decisions if i was making the "right" ones.
i felt confident at the time.
but you don't know what you're going to think when you look back on it.

well, now i'm looking back on it and i'm so glad we did it that way.
you can never get those moments that made up those days back.

and each of them so far {3 VERY different kids with VERY different personalities} have been fine...even GREAT as they head off to school...they are ready academically, emotionally and socially. they are confident and happy and have done great.

again.
this is NOT to make a statement against or for anything.
just to encourage you...if you are trying to make a decision as a parent...THINK about what you're doing and why.
trust your instincts.
and make your decision confidently.

what a week...hoping that next week feels a little calmer and less intense.