Wednesday, July 7, 2010

someone needed me

i did NOT sleep well last night.

woke up at 2:22 am.
my feet were on the floor the second i woke up.
i heard crying and someone needed me.

i was in the girls' room {where the 3 older ones were sleeping} before i even realized i was awake.

i stood at the door and looked at all 3 of their sleeping faces.
so peaceful.
they didn't need me.
the house was silent except for my wildly beating heart.

and then i thought about them.
my sons that i can't run to in the night.
is someone there to run to them??

i spent the rest of my night tossing and turning.
thinking about them...


Holly said...

heavy stuff.

praying that this time will go fast for you guys.

Beckysblog said...

oh Courtney...I can only imagine that. And I'd be tossing and turning too.

But, someone is there...their heavenly father, dont forget that.

Grace said...

hi courtney! i'm a friend of evan and stacey's and i've heard lots about you and your adoption process. so excited for you and praying for your two boys in rwanda!

Hanna said...

Oh Courtney, I know exactly what you are talking about. I wonder how many times I experienced something similar. It's amazing how God makes you their mother, their fierce protector and advocate long before you ever meet them. Praying and hoping with you.

Tammy said...

so sorry. it is so special how much your hearts are already intertwined. rest knowing that Someone is running to them...the Almighty God, the Father to the fatherless is at their side. love you

beckley said...

Grace and peace be with you.

Thank God for those nuns who love your boys. I often think of those selfless nuns and how they are caring for your boys. Brings smiles to my face. Amazing. Even still, they can't get home fast enough, can they? Painfully slow. So painful, huh?

Grace and peace be with you.
Shalom be yours.

beckley said...

(I think it's amazing how you're already their mom. You're already totally, selflessly, amazingly their mom. I stand in awe.)

Bassett said...

Something excellent to think about. Something I was thinking about myself the other day as I cuddled my son. For as much attention and love as we try to give Eliott, how many children would crave to have a fraction of what we can provide? And they're all worth more attention than we can muster.

It breaks my heart to think about.

We're praying for you in the process. We love you guys.