Saturday, April 10, 2010

it would have been too perfect

to get our approval on my birthday.
wouldn't it?

we didn't get it.

i was afraid i'd be EXTRA disappointed today.
i thought for SURE God would "bless" me with that gift.

i'm not as disappointed as i thought.

i'm more resolved than ever.
no matter how long or how hard or how many days of an empty mailbox or how many hurdles we have to jump...
i will keep going as long as it takes to get to those 2 little boys.

this is only the beginning.

i need to build my "strength" and i'm trusting that this is one way He's using to do just that.

i know He has called us to this.
and He will provide what we need.
but i also know this is going to be a hard road...not easy.
and i'm ok with that because it's His road.

i'll focus on the other gifts that i can hug today...my amazing husband and 4 children that are so excited to be celebrating my birthday with me!
{and a part of my heart is always yearning to hug them...}

5 comments:

Julie said...

sweet Courtney it is hard to wait and you do need strength. It is only the beginning of this HUGE journey and it is good that you are giving this all over to Him because it can only be done in His strength. I pray you are enjoying hugging the ones you love today and you are enjoying your day!!!!

Regan said...

Happy Birthday, Courtney!

Kim Mattes said...

Happy Birthday!!! I was so thankful when i read today that your mailbox was empty. I am sure that you are saying "WHAT??!!!" But here is the whole story... today our neighbors had a bomb placed in their mailbox (i guess that these pranks have been going on around the city). it did not explode when the mail carrier opened the mailbox (thankfully) because something was "wrong" with the bomb. but the bomb squad, police, firefighters and who knows what else were all here to take care of it. so this has been big excitment for us here in the middle of plain old iowa. anyway, i just came in and checked in on you and the first part that i read was about your empty mailbox and part of me was relieved! i am so sorry that IT didn't come but thankful that there was no other kind of excitement in your mailbox either! hope that you have a great day celebrating with the ones that you love and love you soooo much! ENJOY

Renee said...

The waiting is SO, SO, SO hard. The most comforting thing to know is that IT WILL HAPPEN. You are so blessed to have a wonderful family to love while you wait. Enjoy every moment because things will change. Easy or hard, they will be different so enjoy life (as much as you can while aching for those two little boys) with just the six of you!

scooping it up said...

I am sorry you didn't get the present you wanted. I hope it happens soon! And happy belated birthday.