yes, I had a big of a hard reality check when this day came. but I've quickly come to enjoy and appreciate the time. I made a little "deal" with myself heading into this month. I agreed to 2 things:
1. NOT commit to anything (long-term commitment, i.e. NO "every Wednesday I do this" or "every other Thursday I meet this person") for at least this first month.
2. Don't start any BIG projects that will stress me or my family out
I've seen plenty of people and done some small projects around the house, but I've stuck to my deal and it's been so refreshing!
I can FEEL my heart and mind adjusting. I can't yet HEAR what God has for me in this new season, and that's ok.
each day my goal is to love my family the best I can. i'm meal-planning with actual recipes (which hasn't happened in close to a year), i'm putting jokes in little boys' lunch boxes, i'm praying for each of them throughout my day, i'm getting stuff done so that I can be present when they get home from school and work, and i'm leaving some time with nothing scheduled so that I can listen to a sermon or make some phone calls for Pat or go for a walk with a friend or make pumpkin bread for the neighbors.
it all feels very...awesome. some moments I feel guilty for having the time. I just never have! but i'm choosing to be THANKFUL. and i'm trying my best to be obedient in this season, just like I have in every other season of life God has placed me. charging through a season and checking things off lists like a madwoman comes way easier to me than slowing down and listening and being present. this is truly stretching for me but i'm determined not to jump into my default state of just being "productive". I don't want to miss the things God has for me here.
2 comments:
I think this may be the first time I've hit a parenting milestone before you! ha!
Seriously- I've been praying for you over the last few weeks. Praying that your heart would be filled in the alone time. That your body & mind would be refreshed. That your soul would be joy-full.
You know how much I love being with my boy- and each season is a different adjustment. And I'm always shocked by how easily my time can be filled when I'm not intentional with it. I love that you've made that choice to be still and calm and listen to God. You will not regret those walks with friends and recipes planned and moments that feel luxurious and even unwarranted- because they will enable you to give new parts of yourself to your family than you've been able to before.
Know that you'll still be in my prayers...as you listen, discern and ENJOY this time!
We go through stages as Moms ~ it seems it is a continuous part of life...shifting gears to a new stage. I'm so thankful you have this time of rest ~ to move a little slower, to hear God's voice clearly. It is a sweet sweet time for a woman ~ I love how you are appreciating it. It's healthy!
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