i know i won't finish because i have 16 minutes until i get to go pick up my kids from school. and it's raining so maybe 15 because i have to find my umbrella...so i know there will be a "part 2". ha!
my kids last day of school for 2015 is tomorrow. once they get home tomorrow afternoon, we have 2 full weeks together! and i'm excited about that. not every single minute of it. but, i'm mostly excited, which is a miracle.
3 years ago this time, i was in such a dark place. it lasted for months. and the following 2 winters, i felt it, too. not as deeply. but it was there. but this year? it's not! i don't know why. i haven't "done" anything differently. but i wake up with the same joy and peace that i have in july (ok. ok. maybe not EXACTLY. i mean, the BEACH!!) but close :-) i don't have to FIGHT to get out of bed. i don't have to FIGHT to smile. i just feel like ME, and i'm so so thankful. seriously, every day i wake up, it feels like a GIFT, because i know what the day could feel like. and it doesn't.
my kids are growing up. did you know that? goodness. i can't stand it. but it's also awesome. they can all go outside and just play. they all take showers on their own. they all wipe their own bottoms! i put in my time...for SURE! and there is a trade-off (TEENAGERS!) but i'm just enjoying who my kids are right now.
but this morning was so sweet. it was quiet. i let him watch a show !! while i cleaned the bathroom. we talked. it was slow and sweet. i soaked it in, but didn't get over-emotional about it. God is in all of it. today and a month from now.