my heart mid-summer

my heart feels so full, i think it might overflow. i'm hoping that tapping some words out here might help.

i have so many physical events to update here, but it's the underlying, deeper stuff that makes me ME, and you YOU. a picture of our family on the beach all prettied up isn't what's REALLY going on.

summer is a LOT around here {i'm sure it is in your house, too! so i'll try to make this as to the point as i can! i know none of us have time to read fluffy words!}

summer is a season that i love for LOTS of reasons. ok, the sand and sun and heat rank right up there.

but i also LOVE having my kids home. i love the highs and lows of our days...and pressing into each other no matter what. we learn a lot. we love a lot. it's just GOOD. i believe there is so much more to be found in life if you live it intentionally, and, during our summer days, that intentionality cranks up even higher. it's worth the thought and work and sacrifice we pay to go there.

but things haven't been all pool days and sweet summer school moments around the table {although we HAVE had those, and i love each and every one!} so many close friends of ours are hurting. i'm sure yours are too. this world is broken. hearts are LITERALLY broken and we pray for them to be healed. friends are sick with cancer. friends kids are going through medical issues you wouldn't wish on anyone. a friend celebrated her first anniversary to the love of her life yesterday...but we celebrated with her because he was killed before they could even enjoy a year together {and she is due with their baby in a few weeks...}

and that's just the big stuff. there's also the little stuff, that truly makes us who we are. that molds us and teaches us and, well, can scar us.

my kids have had issues. attitudes. and not being grateful for all they have.
sawyer has had a medical issue that i, to be honest, was choosing to ignore because i was scared to find out the answers. after lots of dr appts and tests and xrays, things are going to be fine. the results could have been way worse. i'm thankful for good doctors and medical care and patient kids in doctor's offices.

we had an amazing vacation with my family. it was long and relaxing {actually, no, not that. :-)} but it was FUN and just GOOD to all be together. the generosity of my parents and the love we all choose to have for each other made it a gift that we are all still enjoying through the memories we took away. 

pat and i celebrated 17 years of marriage. we love each other. sometimes we love each other well. sometimes we don't. but we continue to seek each other out. to learn who we are. we are always changing, so we can't stop drawing out what's in our hearts. i'm learning to be more honest and less what i think i should be. that's hard for me. even 17 years in!

this week, i'm saying "no". we've had a couple weeks of lots of fun, but not much time where we are truly together, looking at each other's faces and listening to each other's words. so, this week is for that. connecting. regrouping. {cleaning our rooms, too! :-)} which means i have to say to "no" to other things. and that's ok.

and Jesus' love and grace and mercy flows through every little bit of our days. i can't get enough of His Word. worship music is the soundtrack to our days. and reminding myself how He loved, helps me to love well instead of selfishly {not always. come on! ;-)}

my heart is full today. full of good and beautiful things. full of hard and broken things. but full. and i'm thankful.