Monday, February 2, 2015

deer in headlights

a prayer that was prayed for me recently stuck with was prayed that my children (all the children of those of us that are helping denise through this difficult time) would not remember how their mom's are walking around like "deer in headlights"...and it is so true! it's so hard to concentrate on anything. i arrive places and don't remember actually driving there. everything looks different and feels different and, well, just kinda is different. 

as i look back through these few pictures, they are from that week after Corey died. i'm glad i took them, but i know i wasn't really present in any of these moments. it doesn't make me sad. it's ok. my heart NEEDED to be with denise. my prayers NEEDED to be longer and more desperate and

bailey had asked me to play. i probably didn't even answer her. a few minutes later, they had made puppets out of brown paper bags and were putting on a puppet show...

he was sick one day. had a bad cough and fever. i think he even came home from school early one day?? i do remember he slept til 10 am one day! i was so glad that it was a snow day anyways and he could just sleep!!
we've had SO many snow days already. i love snow. and i want to love snow days. but when they are every other day, they don't feel that special anymore!
the afternoon of corey's memorial service, i couldn't do ANYthing. so i sat down and started painting hearts. my girls both joined me...

he's been way more cuddly than usual (which he usually is anyways!) i haven't minded. not one bit.
as the week ended, we had some FUN to look forward to that weekend!! bailey wanted to make a special treat for our friends that were coming to visit. she found a recipe, i bought the ingredients. it took 3 HOURS to make. so we won't be making it again...but it did turn out yummy!!

this was step 5 of 63. ;)  i didn't take any more pics after this point...

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