Friday, December 5, 2014
that depression lasted 6 months. it lasted all winter...4 years ago.
every winter since then, i have struggled with whispers of it. it's never been as dark and consuming as that one winter was, but it's always been lurking there once the days get short and the darkness outside gets longer. the first winter after, it surprised me. the second winter after, it just made me sad and i trudged through it. the third winter, i was so afraid of it as winter drew near.
but this winter?? my joy is back in this season that i grew up LOVING...and that became full of sweet traditions as we grew our family! i've always LOVED all the lights and decorating and baking and advent and giving gifts and all the warm, cozy feelings that come along with all of that.
the day we went to get our tree. when the day was ending, and i was reflecting on it, i realized that i had truly JUST ENJOYED the day. it wasn't forced. it just WAS. and, OH...how grateful my heart was!! i do NOT take that for granted! after SO many days of forcing the emotions i felt like my family needed to see me have...(it is SO exhausting!) it was so sweet to be true to my emotions AND have it be what i would want it to be!