i'm ready for a new week

this week has not been good. and it's mostly my fault.

everyday has been a struggle from beginning to end. and everyday i think, "tomorrow is a new day" and then that day comes and things like my alarm not going off and kids having bloody noses in the middle of the night so their room looks like a murder scene greet me and it's technically a "new" day but it doesn't feel like it.
at all.

i've chosen to be selfish and let stupid things consume me.

and even when i KNOW those things are true, i keep doing them. not because i want to, but i truly can't find my way out of the ugly place that my heart is in.

there is no, "and then this happened and it all clicked back into place and i'm so hopeful and at peace now" part to this post.

i'm still in the middle of it.

i'm still trying to figure out what happened to this week. and wishing, just once, i could handle things that weren't in "my plan" better.

and i'm just ready for a new week. enough with this one.