my heart might explode

i have exactly 2 months left until my days change drastically.
this year with sawyer and levi with me in the mornings has been so sweet.
i have had other sweet years. i remember the year bailey was in kindergarten clearly - i had the mornings with her and sawyer...then she got on the bus, and i had an hour or so with just sawyer (who was 1) before her took a nap and i had 2 hours to myself. that was also a sweet year.

life isn't going to END in 2 months. but my heart kind of feels like it's going to.

4 is my favorite age. sawyer and i have a tight, sweet bond. and the mornings of this HARD year have been one of the things that have kept me going...kept me ok and smiling and feeling hope. those little boys make the smallest things FULL of joy. their laughter and games and voices sometimes make my heart feel like it's going to explode.

more than once the last couple days, i've stopped and had to MAKE myself not cry just because i was overwhelmed with my love and thankfulness for them and our mornings together. i'm going to try to commit to as little as possible with my mornings the next 2 months, and soak it all in.

a friend gave the kids a BIG bag of bouncy balls. that, combined with the empty easter eggs (that i always let them play with for a week or so after easter) have been loads of fun for sawyer. he ALWAYS has at least 1 egg in his hand...with some sort of "treasure" in it.

the white eggs are the "best" to him. because in the resurrection eggs, the white egg is the last one, and the one that you get to learn about JESUS IS ALIVE! so he loves the white ones. i love that. and i love him. :-)

the stool in the bathroom.
i stopped and smiled {then got my camera!} there will come a day when i will wish for that again...

 

BIG week for little levi! potty training is going GREAT! 2 accidents the first day. NONE the second. and none so far today! he really seems to get it and is LOVING all the attention! we are also moving him to a BIG BOY bed this weekend. they had fun going to buy the mattress :-)

rebekah, bailey and i went to a middle school performance of beauty and the beast last night. a friend was in it and we were so excited to see her! during the first half of the performance (which was GREAT!), bailey seemed really tired, laying on the arm of her chair, etc. we went to the bathroom at intermission and got a snack. when we sat back down for the second half, she handed her snack to me and said she didn't want it. i looked more closely at her then. that was weird. i said, "do you feel ok?" she said, "not really." i looked at rebekah and said, "we need to go. she's not ok." {it was also almost 9 pm and only halfway through the show!} as we stood up to walk out, bailey says, "i think i'm going to throw up." um. right. i wasn't familiar with the school (it isn't one of my kids schools) and the bathroom we had gone to was FAR away. but the doors to the outside were close. so i said, "NO! RUN! wait until you get outside!" as i'm pushing her from behind. rebekah, bailey and i are literally SPRINTING down the hallway, bursting through the front doors of the school and then i pushed bailey's sweet head over a trashcan that was in front of the school. i said, "ok. go ahead." she was shaking like a leaf and didn't actually get sick. yet.

we stood there for 2 minutes or so. my brain is trying to figure out what to do. the car was not close. i didn't want her to have to walk to it. i left rebekah with bailey, i RAN to the car to pull  it up and pick them up. THANKFULLY, i had a plastic grocery bag in my purse with a change of clothes for levi that i had JUST put in there yesterday! she had that on the way home, in case she needed it. she didn't.

we walked in the door of the house and no more than 10 seconds later, her entire dinner was in the toilet. i don't know HOW she held it, but it was impressive.

the next 6 hours or so were awful. it was a sad, sad, violent thing that got her.

she has always been an amazing sick person. still smiles and says funny things and just doesn't really let it get her down. God gave her a strength and a joy that is unlike anything i've ever seen. i've enjoyed having her home today (she is over the worst part and now just recovering).

i'm praying that it doesn't go through all of us. and choosing what i feed everyone carefully...in case i see it again.

happy friday! it's april and FINALLY feeling a LITTLE like spring! whoo-hoo!!! we NEED some springtime in this house!