skin color

i can't wait to show you the rest of these pictures from our afternoon yesterday.
but, first, i have something to say.
i'm going to be honest {as always} and i pray you'll be kind.

growing up, i moved around the country quite a bit. but i don't really ever remember being in very diverse areas {with the exception of montgomery, alabama. THAT was diverse. oh, yes, it was.} but, for the most part, i just didn't come into contact with many people that weren't like me - social status, financial status, and even skin color. i wouldn't say i thought differently of those that had different "descriptions", i just didn't think about it much at all.


adopting children that look noticeably different from you is pretty big. all of a sudden, you can't go anywhere and expect to not be noticed in some way.  i remember being out with a friend one day for quite awhile as we were with our kids, and at the end of the day she said, "wow. people give you 'looks' ALL THE TIME!" i hadn't even noticed...but she did! it really does get the point where you don't notice/care.

i wondered what it would be like for me, though. how would it feel taking care of children that have MUCH darker skin than the rest of our family? i wish i could say i never noticed, that it wasn't a big deal. but it was. just like changing a boys diaper was different for me when i had joshua (changing rebekah was no issue for me, i knew what girls looked like! but changing a boy? that was different stuff!) taking care of lincoln and levi was very different at first. not BAD different. just different. unknown. i was used to bright white bottoms when i changed diapers. it was easy to tell when the poop was gone :-) i hated that it felt different. i wanted to feel the same way that i could tell some of my kids did (that our new brothers "just" had much darker skin than the rest of us.)

but, over time, it's all gone. i don't look at them differently AT ALL. their skin is SO beautiful to me. it IS "just darker". i always WANTED to feel this way, but until you are FORCED to be immersed in whatever it is you aren't comfortable with, you will always think it is "different" - it might be skin color, or financial status (do people that don't have homes make you uncomfortable? sit and have a conversation with one...you'll realize they are "just" a person...just like you! with hopes and dreams and fears.) i'm so thankful to my boys for changing my heart in so many ways...this being one of them!

and i love that my children will grow up without the feelings that i did...because shades of skin color are not unknown to them...they've lived and loved and played and bathed and wrestled all shades of skin within our own family...it's not "different" to them. it is our family.