the day we waited for for over 2 years...

this is how i remember it a year later...i intentionally did not go back and read the post from a year ago - this is what i've saved in my head and heart.

it was a monday.
pat and the older 3 kids went off to school and work.
sawyer and i went to the gym.
i got home mid-morning and checked my email on the computer in the study as soon as i walked in (obsessive email checking for MONTHS)

and there it was.
in my JUNKmail folder!
an email with a TON of attachments.
an email with the pictures of our sons.
an email we had been waiting for for over 2 years!

sawyer was just walking into the study. i picked him up and held him so close.
i was laughing and crying at the same time.
i hadn't opened the pictures.
i still didn't know their faces.
but i knew they were THERE and they were OURS.

i called pat.
i remember he had pinkeye that day so he was wearing his glasses.
he was getting over a cold and didn't feel great.
he had an important meeting or something and couldn't come home.
i had to wait...and wait...

naptime that afternoon was SO so sweet. no one knew. i had to wait until pat and the kids are our families knew. it was a sweet time of PRAISE between me and the God that had done this in our hearts and our family. what a gift...

i didn't tell the kids when they got home from school.
i think i partly just LOVED knowing and savoring that the moment had finally come. i had so many emotions flowing through me. and i didn't want to deal with them saying, "when is dad going to come home so we can see?" over and over. i was ecstatic and i didn't want to be annoyed.

pat finally got home. and we told the kids. and we opened the emails. and we couldn't believe our eyes. we were so surprised that levi was as young as he was (we were prepared for 2 boys that were 3/4ish). the sparkle in lincoln's eyes was bright...and a bit unnerving...from that one picture :-)

we drove around and told/showed our families.

this day, the day we saw our son's faces for the first time, was the day we had been waiting for more than ANY other day. the rwanda program/process got so hairy and unknown and we just never were REALLY sure if it would happen. i actually had gotten to a place where it was "ok" if it never happened.  i never let myself picture MEETING them for the first time - it was too painful. for over 2 years, ALL i sought was that email, saying "here they are". and this was the day!!!!

i remember JOY.
that's all.
not fear. not worry. not panic.


JUST JOY.

HE had done this. this was the pivotal day. we could look back, and see where He had brought us. and we could look forward and KNOW that He would continue to carry us through.

and carry us through He has.

first. YOU. yes, YOU! you all...from family to friends...near and far...you have carried us through. you've prayed. you've asked. you've cared. you've loved. you've given us grace and understanding. we thank you!

i spent the morning just soaking them in. we went for a walk. lincoln rode his bike. we went to a playground. it started raining just enough that i didn't feel comfortable taking my camera out. so i was forced to just PLAY. how fun that was! and a gift! {it did eventually stop enough for me to take some pictures - whew! :-)}

they don't even look like the same boys!

i HAVE to get a picture of all my kids like this...just the feet...love it!

and i told them when i was taking a picture of their feet, "you don't even have to smile! you can make ANY crazy face you want!" i shot my camera up once and caught this :-)

i could NOT get a good picture of this little guy - he would NOT be still! he's still cute...

a year ago they were on the other side of the world. now they are in my arms. in our home. in our silly family!

{excuse my no-makeup, sweaty, rained-on self. i realized that I wanted to be in a picture with them!}

there will be no "big celebration" today. more thoughts/reasons on that another day. but we are DEFINITELY thanking Him and praising Him for what this day means to us. the day that He showed us our sons.