he's mine

"they" say that it takes as long as an adoptive child wasn't with you, for them to be with you, for them to be TRULY yours. fully bonded. attached. all those big words that we hope and pray to happen.

i didn't like hearing it. it just seemed too long...for both of our boys.

yet, as they came home and we began this process, i saw the truth in it.

they have been OURS from the minute we laid eyes on them. if you messed with one of them, you better believe you would see "mama bear" come out! but, deep down, in our hearts, in the places we can't control?? it was a process...and it takes time.

just in the last couple weeks i have realized that this little guy is mine.  fully. nothing forced. i'm all in without thinking about it. when i pick him up, it is my natural reaction to kiss him. on the outside it looks the same, i've always kissed him when i picked him up, but, before it was intentional. my actions were showing where i desired my heart to be. now my heart is there. and it feels SO amazing!!!!

we GET each other. he knows my looks. and i know his. i know when he's ready to get down and go. and when he needs to stay in my arms. i know when he's not comfortable with someone just by his face. his eyes sparkle for me. 

{and this is about the "right" time. he was almost a year old. we've been home almost a year...}

there is much rejoicing in this!!!

but also sadness. because this could mean that we have 3 years to go with lincoln....i'm not dwelling on that, though! God is so big and so real in all of this. and it's His story. no matter what, we walk onward.