he can rest

when we first came home, lincoln had SUCH a hard time sleeping. we made him rest every afternoon (it's what happens in our house in the afternoons.) but he hardly slept - probably 1 out of every 4 days he'd fall asleep. but sometimes it would be after flipping around in his bed for an hour and he'd fall asleep 15 minutes before rest time was over.

and nighttime? he'd flip around in his bed, rearrange his sheets, etc for 2+ hours. sometimes we went to sleep before he did.

i knew why. hypervigilance is the term "they" use. he has a hard time relaxing to be able to fall asleep. it's something you or i don't really think about. but we feel safe enough to let ourselves fall asleep. he had 4 years of NOT feeling that way. and we knew that he was safe, but he didn't know it yet.

we knew it would take time. but we didn't realize we were contributing to the problem. we gave him a toy or book every afternoon (i thought "maybe he doesn't need to sleep. and how can i expect him to just lay there for 2 hours?") so we gave him a toy or book. except he ALWAYS ended up losing it - would destroy it somehow, or use it to destroy something else in his room. and we don't destroy things in our house. not intentionally, anyways. so, he'd lose getting to have a toy/book for a couple days. then we'd try again. after 6 or so months of this, i was fed up. and just didn't give him anything for about 2 weeks.

HE STARTED SLEEPING! every.single.afternoon.

we do have to pat him down when he does down {he doesn't know it, we just do a quick check as we're hugging him and praying for him.} if he has so much as a scrap of paper/sticker on his shirt/anything he will NOT fall asleep. he will play with that 1 sticker for 2 hours - it will get him so stimulated and he won't be able to put it down and go to sleep. {there are some things i can't control. one day he didn't go to sleep and i later realized it was because he had 10 boogers he was lining up and playing with. he got me on that one.}

AND he goes to sleep at night so much faster.

he is getting 2 or so more hours of sleep a day! it's amazing! and i'm just so thankful that he can RELAX enough to let himself go to sleep.