how are they doing?

it's the question of the month.
i hear it a LOT.

also, "how are YOU doing?"

it's hard to answer.

"everyone is alive!" i say sometimes.

if i say, "we're good!" or "they're good!" i kind of feel like i'm lying.
but, do people REALLY want me to go into it all? i think not.
i KNOW people care...but this is messy and complicated.

we TRULY are doing {mostly} good.
it's just that "{mostly}" part that is the tough side.

both lincoln and levi are eating SO well.
levi went from only drinking formula in the orphanage...to not liking and then loving baby food...to not liking and then loving table food! he eats almost everything! he is still drinking formula for the extra vitamins and nutrients, but i am slowly cutting a couple out a day. he LOVES his bottle. and i love giving it to him. he doesn't love to be held while given a bottle. that makes me sad. i think he's used to NOT being held...to just holding it himself. sometimes i let him hold it, sometimes i make him let me feed him.

lincoln also eats pretty much everything. except fruit. and it's pretty cool to say we're at the point where i'm CONFIDENT that he understands if he doesn't eat his fruit, he won't get the cookie afterwards {if there is a dessert...not always!} sometimes he makes that choice. and now, when he makes that choice, he handles it SO much better! sawyer often makes that choice, too, so it's not like it's just him! and he sees that.

the whole taking care of their skin/hair thing is a bit tricky. but, we're figuring it out. and they have no idea when we fail, so it's all good. :-)

speaking of failing, i fail them all SO often. i am ashamed to admit how easily i get frustrated...how easily i lose perspective. it is just plain HARD to be a mom to a child that is 4 years old, but has not lived in our house and our rhythm and our rules for that whole time. i'd like to say i always err on the side of grace. but i don't. i do love him. i don't always like what he does - but that's the case with ALL my kids. he has not gotten frustrated ONCE. not ONCE. i would be cowered in a corner, not speaking, by now. he is handling dealing with his crazy mom amazingly well. the wisdom i pray for, the number of questions and decisions i deal with every day, the doubts that run through my mind...it's all just about too much. sometimes i wonder if he wishes he could be back in the orphanage??

i lean on HIM to give me wisdom and grace. and i still screw up sometimes.

sawyer is having the hardest time out of everyone. as we expected. but it's so hard to watch. he hasn't had to share his toys before. and now he does. which is good. but hard to manage all.day.long.

he is younger than lincoln. but more is expected of him than lincoln. the older 3 can understand why the rules aren't exactly the same for lincoln. sawyer doesn't quite "get" that. and it's hard to watch his frustration with that  {he HAS been frustrated! a LOT!} i try to give sawyer lots of extra hugs and kisses. but also try to be careful letting lincoln see that. oh, see?? so HARD!

lincoln says more english words everyday. it's pretty cool! the other day he busted out with, "where is my book?" :-) he says:
more
thank you
please
potty
all done
shoes
clothes
no touch :-)
stop it!
eat
book
where is it?
sit
yummy
snack

they love baths. they love playing outside. levi doesn't like the grass. they love the pool. they both have THE best smiles!

this past week, when i put lincoln down for rest time, i read (i use that term loosely - just pointing out objects and naming them) him a book in his bed. by the end of the week, he could lay there and stay engaged the whole time. and got so excited when i said to pick his book for rest time! {i did the same with sawyer. i think it was a GREAT thing for each of them...}

this will be my crew come september :-) 3 sweet boys.
but i am LOVING having the older ones home right now!
i hope to be a little more creative and intentional with spending some good time with them the next few weeks. they have handled this huge transition so well. i am very proud of them.

and the reactions from all their friends has been so amazing and encouraging for me to watch! all their friends have embraced lincoln and levi...brought them little gifts...LOVE seeing them around.

this past friday afternoon, at 4 pm, someone knocks on the door. i was in the middle of getting all the stuff ready for a lemonade stand the older kids wanted to have. it was a sweet friend that i had planned on coming over. and totally forgot! ugh. not the first time i did something like that...and i'm sure not the last. if you make plans with me, you might want to remind me the day before :-)

she was gracious with me. and her kids jumped right into the lemonade stand!

it was a beautiful afternoon! lots of customers. i'm sure lincoln thinks we're CRAZY!

he liked his first rice krispie treat. i wasn't planning on him having one. but he grabbed it...

we don't worry about "bonding" with them. we feel totally confident that they both know WE are their mom and dad. they miss pat when he's gone. levi lets rebekah and a couple others hold him, but i am the one he's MOST comfortable with. this is big. it's great that they love us and look to us to take care of them. the time together in africa built and grew that....