heard

i was telling a friend this story this morning, and realized i needed to write it down somewhere so i don't forget.

conversation with bailey the other day:
me: bailey, how many kids do you think you'll have when you grow up?
bailey: NONE!
me: oh. well, what are you going to do all day?
bailey: i'll just be with my husband!
me: but your husband will have to go to work to make money. what will you do while he's at work?
bailey: oh....i guess i'll work.
me: what kind of work will you do?
bailey: the MONEY kind.
me: what?
bailey: the kind where you make money!
me: oh! you make money at lots of jobs. what type of job will you do? nurse like hannah? teacher? office like daddy?
bailey: i'm going to be a babysitter. JUST for babies. i only like babies. i don't like them when they get bigger.

ha! love her :-)

this morning i was in the shower. rebekah was at swim team. it sounded like the other 5 were having world war III. they were upstairs but not in the bathroom. lots of yelling and doors slamming.

then joshua walked in my bathroom. i knew the chaos he had just left. yet he walked in as calm as always and said, in a totally normal volume voice, "mom. i just want to play with sawyer. in our room. i want to build lego's with him. can i do that? just me and him?"

oh.my.goodness.

now, our house is NOT all about "fairness." life isn't fair. i am NOT going to spend my days keeping things fair. but...in this transition, it's had to be more about fairness. because lincoln is watching EVERYTHING. taking it ALL in. and we NEVER want him to feel like he's not getting something that someone else has (even if it doesn't really matter.) sawyer and lincoln ALWAYS have to have the SAME number of trains...or cars...or books...it's ridiculous really. and it will end. oh, it will end. but, for now, for HIM, we are keeping things as fair as humanly possible.

so, back to the story. i knew lincoln wasn't going to understand. but, i allowed it. because joshua asked so NICELY. and his desire was so PRECIOUS. and lincoln was fine. i played with him with something else (because joshua was also patient to wait until i got dressed real quick! and didn't bug me to death.)

lincoln did ask about joshua and sawyer. and i told him they were playing. one day, it will be him.

my days. hard and precious every moment.