what a wonderful week!

this is going to be one of "those"...the ones with pictures and then random thoughts interspersed with them. :-)


this week has been so nice. the kids only had school on monday. the rest of the week we've all been home.
almost makes me want to homeschool them...until i remember i would have to actually teach them something ;-) not just play and do crafts and make yummy things!

but, i've relished the little things this week...being able to take our time over meals, going sledding and never looking at my watch (part of the beauty of that is also that i don't have a baby anymore), answering their question or request almost every time they ask (very few "just a minute's").

we made snow cream yesterday. the kids inhaled it like it was the best thing ever made. i don't think i added enough milk...or vanilla...or something. because, to me, it tasted like snow with chocolate chips in it. which is fine and all. i mean, i'll use any means available to get chocolate in my mouth :-)

we added sprinkles and chocolate chips to ours.

i've tried a few recipes this week.
twix bars - they were fine. probably won't make them again. but, fun to make with the kids.
crockpot meatballs - wow. yum! i had low expectations...but everyone loved them! score!
southwestern pulled brisket - um. deLISH! and smelled SO good cooking all day!

we are having a BIG dinner/birthday party here on sunday and i'm trying some more new recipes then. i'll let you know how they turn out!

i was sent this article this week. at least 3 times. gets your attention, you know?
it's good. but i have a really hard time reading it.
because i'm still learning. i don't have it figured out.

here's an example:
one night pat and i sat down on the couch. we had just tucked the kids in bed. just like most nights, we sit down to talk and catch up after our long days. we talked about the little stuff. and probably some bigger stuff. and i think he thought we were done. he was about to reach for my hand to pray. and i said, with no preamble and (unbelieveably) very little emotion,

"i mean, i know that this whole thing (our adoption process) is in God's hands and it will all happen in His timing. BUT, i just don't understand! i mean, we are ready! why would He make us wait? it doesn't make sense."

what did pat say?
what could he say?? 
he just smiled at me.
and reached for my hand and prayed.

THIS.IS.SO.HARD.
i want to be getting stronger.
i want my faith to be growing.
i want to trust Him completely.
but i don't. i still think i know better sometimes and i hate that.

i hope and pray that i'm making baby steps.
that one day i will look back and see how far i've come.
but, right now, in the midst of it, that's hard to see or imagine.

you know what else??
i worry about how i've messed up in this process.
this is about something WAY bigger than our adopting these 2 boys.
He is using this journey in a BIG way in my life...i would also say He's using it in Pat and the kids' lives...and even our extended families...and close friends...to anyone that has come alongside us and supported us and loved us, they are along for the ride.
and i worry that He has given me this opportunity to SHOW His love and faithfulness and redemption and I just show MY shortcomings - my frustration and impatience and lack of trust.
i pray almost every night that He would cover the ways i've failed others that day with His love and grace...

{just so you know, i'm crying an ugly cry right now and my head is going to hurt so i have to stop there...}

these pictures are awful because i took them at night. but i made the kids these pants this week! i used this post and made a couple additions/changes as i went. sawyer has a pocket for a car or train. and bailey's has a toulle ruffle because she's bailey :-)

pat thinks they look silly. especially on the boys. but, they've all worn them EVERY night, so i think they like them and that's what matters!

it's been a great week, but i think we're all a bit exhausted from it all :-)

we have a FUN weekend ahead!
how about you??