this is going to be all over the place

"It was one of those March days

when the sun shines hot and the

wind blows cold: when it is summer

in the light, and winter in the shade."

- Charles Dickens

it's finally feeling like spring around here.
we are loving it.
less layers of clothes.
more time outside.
makes for more smiles on everyone!

remember how i had the most amazing weekend??
so much of that was because of what God was going inside of me.
but there were also some other amazing parts...Kelly speaking...my fun roommates - Bridget, Leighann and Heather (none of whom i knew all that well before going...actually...i met Heather for the first time when i picked her up to drive her there :-) but i loved getting to know each of them more and getting to catch up with other friends that were there that i don't see nearly enough and it made me realize that no matter how old we get, girls always need their girlfriends! the food was yummy...the weather was great...the accomodations were perfect.

it made for the perfect place for God to speak to me clearly.
i'm so very thankful and still kind of living on a cloud.

{they found the one area that still had snow :-)}

it helps that i haven't been to the doctor or administered medicine to anyone for days!
yay!!!
everyone is healthy and pat and i are almost back to normal.
back to my regular exercise routine...a little frustrating because it feels hard...and i was feeling so strong...but hopefully it won't take long.

after i picked rebekah up from school yesterday, she saw a friend she knows (that's 2 grades OLDER!) and just gave him one of those side-hugs as they walked by each other. my eyes almost popped out of my head. not ready for any of that. not ready. the end.

{this was the cutest thing ever. bailey couldn't figure out how to get off the snow without stepping in mud. joshua used pieces of ice to make stepping stones for her to get safely off the snow without getting muddy :-)}

i'm sad.
and ticked.
senseless tragedy.
hurt in the middle of stories filled with His love.
people that i love are hurting in huge ways and i hate it.

clinging to His promises and hope and grace.
believing He is who He says He is.
and knowing that He can heal it all.
but my heart is broken.

aching for heaven.

sawyer doesn't talk.
he just doesn't.
i almost think i'll be surprised when he does...because it's just who he is, Mr. grunter/pointer.
i don't even think about it until other people ask...sometimes it makes me think maybe i should be worried.

but i'm not.
he'll talk eventually.
and drive me mad with his grunting until then.

bailey and i have moved on.
for a couple weeks we played Memory every.single.day during our "special time".
now we've moved onto pictionary.
except she just draws random lines...doesn't have anything in mind as she's doing it.
and then decides if what you guess is good enough compared to her random abstract art.
it's fun.

i love how close they all are.
in these pictures.
and in life.
they love each other.
they really do.
i'm so very thankful.

his belly?
love.it!

within minutes of taking him out of the stroller he was stomping in mud puddles and sitting in mud. such a boy.

"Love is something more splendid than kindness...Kindness merely as such cares not whether it's object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering."
CS Lewis

"The Lord will fight for you...you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14

trying to be more still in my busy days.
maybe not physically (although i am trying to be more still physically too) but mostly in my heart and mind.
trying to soak up His word and His blessings.
i can't give and give without stopping to look around and fill back up.

and i've realized that i have a hard time reading His word on the computer.
i need to be holding a Bible...touching the pages...to really feel like He's talking to me.
sometimes i look up verses or try to find a verse on a topic and it's quicker to do on the computer.

but there's just something about that book and those pages that get so close to my soul.