{i was sitting at the computer typing something the other day and looked down and had written this...my mind was not on what i was supposed to be doing...it was on 2 little boys on the other side of the world...}
lots of things make me think of our 2 little boys in rwanda.
one of those things is anytime one of our kids is sick...and i'm worried about them...my heart breaks for them...who is taking care of my children in rwanda??
there will be a lot of "adjustments" when we bring our new children home.
there will be a language barrier.
and that worries me.
i know they will learn the language.
but there will be frustrating days in the meantime...where they want to tell me something and i won't understand.
there will be so much that i won't KNOW about them.
and i'm not talking about facts, here.
i'm talking about things a MOM needs to know.
this past sunday afternoon/evening, i kept saying to pat, "joshua doesn't seem right."
we tried to tell ourselves it was that he was tired.
but my mom instinct knew better.
and was confirmed when he woke up crying in the middle of the night with a high fever.
i just knew.
and sawyer.
he says very few words.
but he has this sweet whine he uses.
i can literally tell the difference between his, "i need milk" whine and "where is rebekah?" whine and "i lost my car under the couch" whine.
i just know.
it's not something i have to think about.
or ponder.
or evaluate.
i just KNOW.
how long will it take for me to KNOW these things about the children we are adopting?
this is my job.
to KNOW.
but i won't at first and that is going to be so hard for me.
6 comments:
That will be hard. Hard to not 'know' them right away. But you will. Someday your instincts will 'work' on them too!
Right now they are so blessed to be loved by you.
did you ever find out what Sawyer has? I am thankful he is getting better, poor guy!
I have been praying and thinking about you a lot from your previous posts and I am reading a book right now...maybe you have already read it... but it is amazing to me. I think it would really bless your soul to read and you might feel encouraged a bit. It is by a missionary woman who worked in Eastern Europe and Asia... and it is all about being content. I wish I had read this a few years ago, but thankful God has given it to me now to read. I am reading it with some ladies in a book study here. It is just wonderful. Here is the link on Amazon...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0032FO40M/ref=s9_simi_gw_p14_t2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-5&pf_rd_r=1TJWNK76GTZKYE43DTFA&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470939291&pf_rd_i=507846
it won't take long...i promise! we have had grace with us for 2 months yesterday. i can now tell just about everything, from her being mad, mischievous, not feeling well, sad, happy, lonely. she is an open book that i love to read. so, don't worry...it will be quicker than you think!
i have a feeling it will come fast. that has got to be one of the hardest things about not starting from infancy, but in this case, i think love really does make up for it!!
Oh but Courtney, you will be DESIRING to LEARN those things...and that mom instinct will be in full swing. Yes, it will be different from nurturing them from day 1 of coneption, and learning gradually....and yes, it will be frustrating not to be able to help them RIGHT away maybe, but you WILL be there to hold them and TRY to do whatever it is they need. You and Pat will be tending to them and giving them love....and God holds YOU both day by day. AND....we "out here" will be praying and supporting you in any way we can. Our hearts are bursting just thinking of these precious two boys.
The wait is the worst part, but at least they have someone praying for them, a mother who maybe miles and miles away, but the day will come when they will be here and you will be the only one they want to hold them, comfort them when they are sick or scared. You are there mom no matter what, and even through the adjustment they will have you (all of you) to show them love, understanding and compassion and most of all God always give you what you need. He has given you what you need to handle the things that come.
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