who i am, part 3

here we go!!!
if you missed the first 2...
who i am, part 1
who i am, part 2

so...we graduated from JMU and moved "back home" to Northern Virginia.
we are both from there.
we moved into a 1 bedroom apartment in Centreville, VA.
i spent the summer "setting it up" {what in the WORLD!?!}...i was also applying for jobs.
and pat spent the summer studying for his CPA exam.
ok, ya'll. this man can be FOCUSED when he wants to be.
oh, how i love him for that {most of the time!}
he studied his BRAINS out...and passed the first time!
SO proud of him!!! {he's WAY smart!}

at the end of the summer...he started working for Arthur Andersen {accounting firm...that exists no longer...had some "issues"} and i started teaching 2nd grade at a Christian school.

i LOVED teaching.
EVERY MINUTE of it.
my first year teaching...i would be there til 8 or 9 and night lots of times.
but i still loved it.
my second year teaching...the hours were much better.
and i still loved it :-)

pat was also working VERY hard {those accounting firms pretty much like to work you into the ground.}
he knew he was just "putting in his time". he had no desire to "climb the ladder"...he knew the price that cost and wasn't willing to pay it. but he wanted to be in the "public sector" for 2 years so that he could move on with some good experience. he was blessed to have some good co-workers and bosses along the way.

we were doing great.
enjoying being married.
spent some of our free time being counselors for a high school youth group.
in between our first year in the real world and our second year...we moved to another 1 bedroom apartment...but closer to pat's work.
enjoying being in the "real world."
still enjoying our friendships from college!

we decided to go on a cruise...12 of us...the fall of 2000...

it was a BLAST! so so so much fun.
i'm not sure pat and i would enjoy a cruise just the 2 of us.
but going with a group of friends is SO fun!!!

a few weeks later...we found out we were pregnant!
we were on a "5 year plan"...and we were only 2 years into that plan...

after we got over the shock {those that knew us then can attest to the SHOCK we were in!}
we were thrilled!

we were going to have a baby!!!

a couple months later we had some big decisions to make.
HUGE they felt at the time.
i decided NOT to return to teaching {baby was due at the end of August...so i could finish the current year}
but we weren't sure how it was going to work.
we were NOT going to be able to pay even just the bills (rent, utilities, groceries) but we knew that i wanted to be at home.

a month before rebekah was born...a job literally landed in pat's lap.
a job that would move him out of the public to the private arena {a desire of his}.
a job that would allow us to pay our bills.
and a HUGE answer to our prayers!
he's been at the same company ever since.
and they have been so good to him.

rebekah was born Aug 31, 2001 {5 VERY LONG days late...}
i won't go into all the details...but i learned that i'm not very good at showing when i'm in pain {sitting in the waiting room for 2 hours...with contractions 2 minutes apart...HARD contractions...and still smiling and saying, "i'm fine"...all the rooms were full...til another lady said, "you have GOT to stop smiling or they are NEVER going to give you a room."...pushed for 2 hours once i finally got in a room...she was sunny-side up...but healthy and beautiful.}



oh...those days with 1 baby.
they seem like SO long ago.
a lifetime ago.
i hope it doesn't sound awful to say that i wouldn't want to go back to those days.
they were sweet.
but it's kind of like how you don't want to go back to junior high again.

i was SO clueless {BY FAR the first of ANY of our friends to have a baby!!! most of them weren't even married!!!}
i felt very alone.
rebekah was NOT a happy baby {cried ALL.DAY.LONG...we got called back to the nursery EVERY SUNDAY til she was a year old because she would be so hysterical...HATED the car}
those were some HARD days.
our family and friends were so supportive and encouraging and helpful.
but you just have to figure it out!
and it felt so HARD...and like it would never END!

the days run into the nights run into the days...and it's just me and this little person that screams and eats and poops all over the place...and i felt so GUILTY for not LOVING it! {this is what i've looked forward to my whole life!}
i felt so fat and gross.
money was SO tight...i worked at the nursery at a gym for awhile...but rebekah would just scream the whole time and i really wasn't helpful at all...we didn't have cable...or internet. to check email i would go to the library {and try to hold rebekah...if i left her in the stroller she would scream...so i didn't check email very often!}
did i say i felt alone??
but, again, like my first year of college...it was good.
back to me and God.
CLUNG to Him...in a way those were some of the hardest, simplest, sweetest days...

gosh...this is hard to re-live!

pat was wonderful. so patient with her (and me!)
so supportive and encouraging.

and we survived!!!
and even agreed to have another baby...