some ugly little attitudes from some precious little kids are bringing out a frustrated, and impatient mom. i hate it. they have me so worked up today. i've tried to be consistent. i know i haven't been perfect. there's a combination of frustration, exhaustion, guilt and sadness in my heart.
i sent bailey to her room (of the 3, she's been in the MOST trouble today)
i sent rebekah and joshua outside to play.
i told them i needed to pray. i told them that i am very frustrated and i need to spend some time alone and with God. and i did.
i got on my knees and sobbed and prayed and i feel a bit better. not because i feel like i'm going to be a better mom now. i will fail again. i always do. but because i have His peace that i am the mom for these kids. whether i fail or not. and He will get me through this day (this hour). and i'm trusting that He will give me the wisdom that i need.
now i'm going to go kiss their sweet faces. we're going to try this again.
7 comments:
we are on round three of that same scenario today - right there with ya.
it's so hard. i remember feeling like this right after callie was born. feeling like it was all coming crashing down on me at the same time. you did exactly the right thing. it's SO good for your kids to see you in that spirit too Courtney. they need to know that you go to the Father when you need guidance. and that sometimes all we can do is pray that our hearts get right. they won't know how to unless they see that example from you - of stopping, praying, and then try it again! You are doing GREAT!!! Showing them exactly what it means to follow Him for EACH step!
Hi Courtney. I linked to your blog from Tisha's. We just had a baby boy too - Sawyer, born May 2nd. You have a beautiful family!
Sweet Courtney, HUGS and I am praying that God fills you with his Holy Spirit and that you are saturated with his grace in regards to your kiddos. I am also praying that the kids respond well to you and each other. They are your favorite little sinners, but they are still sinners. I always think of that when I am loosing patience. I say allowed "you are my favorite little sinner!" Hang in there... much love!
you are so precious courtney...i so love your sweet, sweet heart.
It may have felt ugly and even been ugly when you were irritated with them. But God used it. He used it by allowing them to see you go to Him in prayer about it. You just had a baby 4 weeks ago, so you are allowed to be a bit irritable as long as you confess and move forward. What a great teachable moment that ended up being for your kids.
you're doing a great job. :) we all have these kinds of days.
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