one of those conversations

you know, the kind that you know you'll always remember. where you were, what you were wearing, what you were eating.

we went out to dinner to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. pat wanted to get my engagement ring re-set as my gift. we went to a jewelry shop first. i had thought and prayed about this all week. i know that adoption (international) costs a lot of money. and i know that will be a big issue for us. i also know that pat wants to generously spend money to celebrate our 10 years together on this ring. if i had the choice of adopting vs getting a new diamond i'd choose adoption in a heartbeat. yet, we're not at that point. we're not REALLY talking about it yet. how do i communicate this??

so, we look at rings. they are beautiful. would i love a bigger diamond?? sure.

we walk across the street to baja fresh to get a drink (and nachos! YUM!!) and discuss what we saw and what i liked. i jump into this whole conversation about adopting vs a bigger diamond, blah, blah, blah. basically hit pat with something he's totally not ready for. he was amazing. listened to me completely. i knew he understood my heart (i mean, we've been together for 10 years...even though i haven't been talking about it, he knows me pretty well.) with a few words he assured me that whatever God wanted us to do, he would be in it completely. just because he had said we could adopt for our 4th and "that was it" - didn't mean he wouldn't obey something God wanted us to do.

i'll admit. i was so nervous. i want this badly. but i also know it's not about me and what i want. it's about what God is calling us to do as a family. and giving it up to Him is very scary...but freeing also.

i'll always remember that conversation. it was one of those.