Monday, May 12, 2008

i feel too much


this picture has nothing to do with this post. it was just cute. they were actually playing nicely together and i had to get it on camera.

anyways...

i always thought everyone had the same amount of thoughts and feeling going on in their hearts and minds. but i'm realizing this isn't the case. i think that i "feel" too much. i'm CONSTANTLY thinking about my kids and how i can be a better mom. i'm constantly thinking about how to be a better wife and more encouraging. i'm often thinking about the millions of orphans out there and praying about "my part" in that problem - money, support of others' adopting, do we adopt?, prayer. i'm always thinking about my friends and family and all they have going on in their very complicated and blessed and challenging lives. my brain is ALWAYS going on these things. i'it doesn't take much for me to be crying for someone. or praying for someone. or laughing for someone. and, most times, i enjoy it. i enjoy the time wrestling in prayer. i enjoy seeking His heart. but some days, i just want to not feel. because sometimes it all seems TOO MUCH. and i've realized that not everyone is thinking all these things all day long. and maybe i would like that for just one day. or just one hour.

2 comments:

Holly said...

I "feel too much" too...right there with ya.

Megan said...

Ah, but then you would not be Courtney...and where in the world would we be without Courtney? Without those who care so much about others and are prayer warriors for the burdened and the orphans. So, don't stop feeling it, because we need Courtney. Even if her blog sounds bipolar at times, the honesty of it is what we LOVE! I love you!