help my unbelief

“I believe; help my unbelief!”

Mark 9:24

i don't hear from God often. 

but when i do, i know it's Him. 

His voice has been swirling in my head today and i have to share. because i'm thinking some of His truth might calm your twisted up spirit, too.

Do I believe God?

Do I believe God is the author of all things?

Do I believe God is the author of time?

Do I believe God is the author of MY time? my to do list? the things I think need to be done?

If I believe these things, which get harder and harder to answer with an immediate, emphatic, YES!, then why should I worry? 

If I believe these things, why do I rush?

If I truly trust that He is holding every minute of my day in His hands, why do I try to manipulate them to accomplish more than is even possible? 

these are questions and their answers are truths that my heart struggles to believe. 

i'm growing in this area. i'm choosing to stop and worship more often in my day and trust that He will use the minutes He's given me each day to do the work HE wants me to do. not the work I want to do. there is a BIG difference. 

when i feel that anxious, swirling feeling in my belly, i know i'm not trusting Him. 

so i stop. and i pray. and i ask Him. and sometimes it takes a whole day to peel back the layers of "I can do it" that have piled on. but He always helps me. He always loves me through it. and He so gently is teaching me how to trust the only One that is trustworthy.