Thursday, June 12, 2014

not saying goodbye

3 years ago, i had to kiss this little baby (he was! look at this post!) goodbye for 3 weeks. it was the hardest thing i had ever done. and i hope to never have to do anything like that again. i've never felt such a physical pain in my heart before.

just a couple days ago, he was saying something about when we were gone and he was at grandma and papa's house. he definitely remembers it and that makes me sad. but he doesn't remember it in sadness...he remembers the fun parts that they DEFINITELY had (so thankful for that!) but it still makes me sad that he remembers it clearly.

i know we did what we "right". i don't doubt that. but it still doesn't take the pain and sting of the circumstances away.

i'm so thankful today that i get to hug and kiss him all day long...and not fly away on an airplane...

{and so begins the month of remembering. i believe He calls us to remember. so we will.}

2 comments:

Barbara Cassada said...

We will always treasure our special one-on-one time with Sawyer, especially our fun visits to Burke Lake!!! We knew it was hard for Pat and you to leave Sawyer....so like Grandma and Papa, we tried to surround Sawyer LOVE!!!!
Love,
Grandmommy and Granddad

Sonya Judkins said...

there is so much bittersweet in motherhood. and the more tiny people we are given to care for the more emotion we get to carry around to treasure and process. this is our season of remembering as well. may we both find new joy in the season and hope in all He has accomplished