but of course there are things i don't share. sometimes it's just not for all to know. sometimes it's my pride.
3 years ago, when i was in a season of depression, and juggling 4 kids and the nursery at church and the orphan ministry at church and waiting {endlessly!} for our 2 sons in rwanda, pat offered {practically insisted} to pay to have people clean our house on a regular basis. i was so desperate, i said yes right away. no guilt. i knew i needed it. i also had a desire to PLAY and BE with my kids when i had a few minutes in my day...it was a luxury to make that choice, but i vividly remember some very sweet mornings just playing on the floor with no "list" hanging over my head. it was awesome.
{pat and i are BOTH super clean, "no clutter" people. we can't handle things to be out of place for very long. and i couldn't handle the stress of trying to keep things that way. i could hardly get out of bed.}
it was so amazing. those precious, hard-working people {that quickly became my friends!}came every other friday for 2 years. i wanted to hug them EVERY time. they did such an amazing job, were always so polite and honest. they loved my kids. it was a win-win for us all.
a year ago, we decided to change it to just once a month as we also changed our chore expectations with our kids. i was feeling more on top of things and had stepped down from the nursery at church, and it was the right move to make at that point.
well, this summer i started feeling like it wasn't necessary to pay our friends to clean our house anymore. it was 3 things that added up together: i started feeling guilty about it (i'm NOT saying that you SHOULD. i didn't for 2 years and am so thankful that we were able to do that during that hard season of depression and adjusting to 6 kids. PLEASE hear that. NO guilt.) and i took that as a sign that i needed to re-evaluate. it was a luxury that we were able to do that, and i NEVER wanted to get to a point where i couldn't "imagine" cleaning my own house again. NEVER. second, budget. our kids sports has gotten more and more expensive (and will only continue to do so!) and we needed to find some money somewhere in our budget. third, a couple comments were made by my kids...one in particular was the afternoon before the cleaners came, we pick up the house and one of them COMPLAINED about it! complained about having to pick up their stuff so that someone ELSE could come in and clean THEIR room! ahh! that was it. i knew what needed to happen.
yet. they were our friends. and now we felt guilty cancelling them. this is their livelihood and they work so hard for it. so pat and i talked and prayed and let it sit on our hearts for a bit. and, after a couple weeks, decided it was time. the conversation with our friends was painful...but sweet. they are still our friends. they just don't clean our house anymore.
it's been 3 months. and it's ok. the kids have more chores. i have more chores. the house isn't quite as clean, but it's clean enough to keep us all sane. it's all us and we're working together and it's good.
No comments:
Post a Comment