dwelling in the broken :: 31 days {a study "He Uses Broken People"}

we are all broken, imperfect people. and we need Jesus. He is the ONLY One that can fill us. and His love is perfect.
i agree with that and even from my early days would have agreed with that statement.

yet. i spent most of my life afraid of being near things that were broken. specifically, people. {as if i wasn't broken myself. i know. i know. so ugly.}


it's ugly and painful to admit, but broken circumstances/choices/paths made me nervous and afraid that they would rub off on me or something, so i stayed as far away as i could. i take all the blame for my own reactions and narrow (judgemental/legalistic) way of thinking.

it took the last couple years of seeing my brokenness and being loved unconditionally through my brokenness. i understood God and His amazing grace FOR ME in a new and deeper way and my eyes were opened. when i got closer to my own brokenness, i also sought out those who were broken. i wasn't scared anymore. i was more scared of becoming "blind" again.

"What I know now is that the brokenness is the beauty." 
Flower Patch Farmgirl

i began talking to those close to me and sharing my heart. it was not an easy thing to share. i especially remember my sweet conversation with my sister about it. that was helpful since we grew up in the same family and all. as i was processing, i was asking and wondering about HOW i got to feel the way that i did.

it's been a process that i've only in the last few months realized had happened. up until then i was just LIVING it! once i realized how my heart had changed, and thought about how painful it was to come to grips with the many years i spent FEARING brokenness, i was ON FIRE to teach my children...to guide their hearts towards the broken.

i made a "study" for us to spend time searching and seeking as we spent the summer together. at first i was going to teach all the kids in our shepherd group (a group of families we LOVE that meet regularly) but decided (i think, wisely) that this was something i needed to do just with my 6 kids.

i had a visual illustration at the beginning of the summer...this red vase. i bought it at target on clearance for like $2.

i took it and broke it. {i first tried to smash it on that table it's sitting on. but i broke the TILE in the table and the vase was still perfectly intact - ha! pat loved that. i ended up using the garage floor...that worked much better.}

and then we glued it back together. (and the tile on the table)

we talked about how we are ALL broken. every last one of us. in different ways. but God is always putting us back together. and the holes or cracks we have are what make us beautiful. and uniquely US.

we kept that vase on our table all summer. as we studied every afternoon, as we ate every meal. it was always there to remind us.

what did we study every afternoon??

there were 5 weeks worth. we studied a different person each week. a person from the Bible. we studied their brokenness...and how God used them.

these were my notes. scribbled in the early early morning hours...

we would read a short passage, over our afternoon snack, and then just talk about it. nothing fancy. just learning from His word.

here is my simple outline. this is what i went off of each day...

He Uses Broken People

Moses
Day 1: Exodus 2:1-10 - Moses' birth and adoption
Day 2: Exodus 2:11-12 - Moses murders an Egyptian
Day 3: Exodus 3:4-10 - God speaks to Moses - tells him he is going to lead His people out
Day 4: Deut 6:5 - "Love the Lord..." - Moses tells people as they are about to enter

David
Day 1: 2 Samuel 7:12-16 - God's promise to David
Day 2: 2 Samuel 8:1-2 - David defeats nations
Day 3: 2 Samuel 11:1-27 - David and Bathsheba...
Day 4: Psalm 51, Psalm 86

Paul
Day 1: Acts 7:59-8:1, 8:3 - approved Stephen's stoning
Day 2: Acts 9:1-20 - Paul's conversion
Day 3: Acts 13:42-49 - Paul preaching to Gentiles
Day 4: Philippians 1:21-24 - Paul in jail

Rahab
Day 1: Joshua 2:1-21 - Rahab hides the spies
Day 2: Joshua 6:22-23 - Rahab protected and provided for
Day 3: Matthew 1:5, Hebrews 11:31 - geneology of Christ, Hall of faith

Peter
Day 1: Mark 1:16-18 - "follow me" to Peter
Day 2: Matthew 26:47-51 - cut off ear
Day 3: Matthew 26: 31-35, 69-75 - Peter denies
Day 4: Acts 9:32-42 - healed others; Acts 10:34-48-God loves Gentiles and Jews

i repeated every single day, as we learned the stories of these people, that we are not to judge other's brokenness. we are not to turn away from it or be scared of it, we are to love them through it. we don't know how God is planning to use the people we come into contact with (the stories that we read were murderers, adulterers, liars - this was some HEAVY stuff!) and it's not up to us to decide, "they aren't worth loving." no fear. just love. no fear. just love. over and over and over.

oh, how i hope and pray this sinks into the hearts of my children. and my own heart. because, if i'm completely honest, i have grown a lot in this area. God has taught me and shown me. yet i still struggle to not fear with one in my home and his brokenness. i struggle to not fear and i struggle to just love. daily.

but i trust that He isn't done with me yet!

and now that vase sits oh-so-perfectly in it's imperfectness in my favorite room in our house.

tell me. do you relate at all? does this even make sense? do you struggle to not fear? or do you find it easy to just love?

 {joining in here}
my other posts are here