tomorrow is the last day of school. today is lincoln's last day of school (we made the decision. i don't think anyone: him, us, the teachers, his classmates...can handle what could likely happen tomorrow if he was there. so he won't be.)
it's been a great school year for rebekah, joshua, and bailey. and lincoln has done fine in most areas...developed, learned, grown. but he has a deep, deep food issue that has caused a cycle to happen from the first week of school straight through the last week of school that has us all limping across the finish line.
the cycle goes something like this: we trust him, he breaks it, we are sad/hurt/frustrated and think we will just never trust him, but time goes by and we start to trust him, he breaks it....on and on and on.
it's so much more involved than that. consequences have been given. and then not. words have been used. and then not. yes, we are going to talk to someone. we talk to ANYone we hear of that might have any wisdom for us. we don't pretend to have any clue what we are doing.
we HOPE and TRUST that he will be healed one day. but walking the road alongside him, as his parents, is so heart-breaking i literally can't breathe sometimes.because i know that the "answer" is most likely TIME and LOTS OF LOVE during that time. i can't speed it up, i can only walk with him and love him the best i know how.
we don't have that "cycle" (trust, break, ...) when he isn't at school. when he's at home the food "issue" doesn't go away, but he can't act out on it like he does at school.
i have a lot of reservations and worries about the summer ahead. the transition from school to summer will likely be a bit messy. but one change i'm welcoming is saying goodbye to that exhausting cycle we've lived through all year.
2 comments:
Love you my friend. Still praying!!!
Praying each of their lasts days are good ones. Praying that you would feel Him holding you up ALL summer long and that He would give you His joy even when you don't have anyon your own accord. Love you!
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