Thursday, December 6, 2012

i so desire...

i'm having such a hard time "getting into the spirit of Christmas" this year.
it makes no sense?!?

it's not like Thanksgiving was late and so the Christmas season was thrust upon us suddenly.
we waited a week longer THAN WE EVER HAVE...EVER! to get our tree.
yet it still feels like it's here and i'm not ready.

i'm going through the motions.
we are tearing links off our countdown chains.
and opening our chocolate countdown.
and plugging in all the beautiful sparkly lights every night.
and i have bought presents.
we are even listening to Christmas music...although, in years past, i would NEVER NOT listen to christmas music the entire month of december. but this year? i listen to is some, but listen to other things some. and sometimes? i just have it quiet.

it's not that i'm not in awe of God coming to earth as a baby so that one day, He could die on a brutal cross for ME (and YOU!)
oh, i AM. so so in awe.

it's just that all those "motions" don't really help me worship who He is. some moments they do. but some moments they pull me from Him.

i so desire to be at His feet this Christmas season (and always!) and i so desire to point my kids to His love and His Glory.

yet most days i feel like i'm spinning around in circles...and bouncing back and forth between "yay, it's Christmas! be so happy!" mom and "oh my goodness. i have 1623 things to do. could you just leave me alone? i don't CARE if you made aNOTHER (!) present out of trash for your brother. (i know...i know. so horrible!)"

i admit to yearning for January. more than once.

i don't know. i don't have a conclusion here...just sharing my thoughts this thursday afternoon :-)

4 comments:

Heather said...

I feel like it's flying by WAY too fast and that there are more things I should be doing as well...glad I'm not the only one?

I want it to SLOW DOWN

Kim Mattes said...

I have had years feeling what you are feeling right now. It is hard and I feel like all of the *stuff* that is supposed to make it special complicates things so much. Praying that you can find some quiet time for God to come in and fill your heart (and quiet your brain ;-) ) with the true Christmas spirit.

Katy said...

Quiet is worship too. More so than loud noise sometimes. I get that.

Katy said...

Quiet is worship too. More so than loud noise sometimes. I get that.