i don't know

sorry. i stared at the empty title box for too long (like, point 5 seconds). i have no title. i don't even know.

every morning, i feel like i'm racing against an invisible clock and i CAN NOT get ahead. in anything. my hands never stop. my brain certainly never stops. and every night i sink into my bed (i LOVE my bed!) and wish i had checked more off, but count my many blessings nonetheless and call it a day. it will all be there tomorrow. i'd be lying if i didn't admit to sometimes feeling overwhelmed...and maybe even panicky and like i can't breathe. but those moments are pretty rare. i have grown. HE has grown me. am i perfect? absolutely not. but i have grown. that's all i seek! growing more and more in HIM.

i had to return a library book (BEFORE it was overdue! boom! all OVER that!) and realized it was "storytime" at the library. i thought in my head, "oh yea, those were fun days...when i took my toddlers to storytime. WAIT! i have 2 little boys WITH me! i bet they would like that! forget those other 2 errands! let's go listen to storytime boys!" they were all confused and sawyer just wanted to "get books" at first. but then they got into it (once the shaker things got passed out) and had a blast!

we are doing yet ANOTHER set of paperwork for our adoption. i THINK this is the last piece?!? (everytime i think that, there is more). pat and i had to get another physical...and lincoln and levi, too. crossing our fingers this is IT!! (i learned that i have REALLY low blood pressure. apparently this is good. unless it gets too low. then i am dead.)

rebekah and sawyer have a sweet bond. "bye, rebekah!"

at sawyer's 4 year well check (yes. i know his birthday was like months ago. i'm doing my best here people!)

every now and then (like once every month or so) i actually get dressed. in something other than running clothes or jeans and a hoodie. i had to have proof.

i feel like i'm not bl@gging well these days. it's not that things aren't going on (they are!)
i want to be better...to get my thoughts down here.
this has always...from day one...been so that my kids know who i am as a person one day. for when (if?) they grow up and wonder, "who was my mom? i know she was my mom. but who was she as a WOMAN? as a FRIEND? as a PERSON?"
and this is so they KNOW. so they SEE how i lived.

it also ends up being a scrapbook. and maybe encourages others. but those are secondary. and added blessings!

is it just me? or is his face the most perfect little thing??

i don't know what it is, but this little guy has me WRAPPED up tight!

long run EARLY tomorrow.
followed by a morning at the farm (no football game tomorrow!)
followed by an afternoon/evening spent with the HOPE group...planning and praying and dreaming

sabbath as a family

see you next week!!