the ones i love

i feel as if a little update is in order.

let's start with my favorite. pat.
oh, God sure knew what He was doing when He gave me him. i'm not sure anyone else could put up with me the way he does...AND love me on top of it all! some days i have NOTHING to say...and others? i literally talk him to sleep!

anyways, he's good. so amazing at balancing all the things he has in his life. and always love US so well.
he is going to haiti in a few days! i'm so so excited (and slightly jealous!) for him.
he's going with a few guys from church...
we are praying MUCH comes from this trip!
{NOT for our family personally...don't get any ideas! for our CHURCH}
me.
do i really need to update me?
i'm good.
still missing diet coke and ice cream. but, wouldn't trade them for what i'm getting instead.
i didn't really think THROUGH the physical effects all of that was going to do to my body. and last week was VERY hard. including it being very hard to even hear what God might have been trying to tell me...but i pressed on and finally am feeling more normal AND able to hear from Him (and run without feeling like i'm going to die again, too...which is nice! i felt AWFUL when i was working out for about 5 days...maybe i should have cut back? but that would have required thought...instead, i just GO and DO!}

i'm being challenged by Him everyday. mostly just in relying on Him for EVERY.SINGLE.THING.
every moment.
every reaction.
every decision.

good {HARD!} stuff!

rebekah.
oh, rebekah. the above picture is a song she wrote.
we are going to record it {supposededly} and submit it to church for them to sing :-)

that girl is becoming more beautiful every single day.
mostly inside...but also out!
her heart is so quick to think of others. and she is the BEST big sister around.

i love our conversations. i have actual CONVERSATIONS with my daughter! like, about real stuff!
it's all very cool...i've waited many years for this.

i'm very much looking forward to the teenage years with her
{and praying i don't eat my words...}

joshua.
it was his well-check the other night.
the conclusion was: he's perfect.
and, he is.
he demands so, so little from me.
gosh, i'm thankful God gave me ONE child like that!

it is so cool to watch him turn into an "older" boy.
he's a VERY cool kid.
smart (like, REALLY smart!)
talented (last week i couldn't be at his basketball game. he just said, "we won." and didn't even mention the 12 points he scored!)
so, humble, too.

since day 1, his presence has calmed me. and it still does.

my new FAVORITE picture of him!!!

{making cookies...can you see joshua's head in there? he was bouncing the basketball around the kitchen...}

bailey.
she kills me.
overall, i would say it's not been a super easy year for her. and, when she's struggling, the volume goes up.
yikes!
but, we are making our way.
lots of talking. and rubbing her hair (she LOVES that!)

she is growing up. she's completely lost the little toddler girl look. she is a bit calmer, has a bit less flair.
and, it makes me kinda sad.
but i am excited to see who she is becoming!
she couldn't ALWAYS be this girl:

i LOVE how she tackles life. she is ALL IN all the time. i wish i lived life more that way!

i am blessed by her EVERY single day. (and usually also exhausted by her...)

lincoln....

HE CAN WRITE HIS NAME!!!

do you see that on his paper above?!? 

so far, he knows 12 letters of the alphabet. and the colors orange and purple (and that is, like, miraculous! i don't know WHY colors are so hard for him?!?)

he loves to color...he can sit still and focus on something like that longer and longer.

he is always smiling.

very helpful.

he is sleeping more. overall.

doesn't stay up flipping around in his bed for as long at night.

and takes a nap almost every day (used to hardly ever sleep...)

i think this is good...it tells me he's able to relax and feel safe enough to REST.

oh! most HYSTERICAL thing happened this morning.

i was reading "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" to the little boys. 

i looked up and lincoln's face of disgust and disbelief was SO SO funny! 

i laughed until i CRIED!

he couldn't BELIEVE what he was hearing!

{an old lady that swallowed a fly...and a spider...and a bird...and a cat....????}

i am thankful for him.

in deeper ways than i can put into words right now.

but i think i needed him more than he needed me.

actually, i'm sure of it.

sawyer.
my baby.
i could EAT him.
he's getting quite a little sense of humor.
and we can communicate with our eyes like no one else in the family.
he is my baby and he knows it (dangerous sometimes. but, for now, we're both milking it.)

he also knows 12 letters!

and loves to drive lincoln crazy.
he's really starting to fight back. it's kind of nice to see...although now i have a lot more squables to referee. ugh.

doesn't he have the most beautiful teeth/smile?

levi.

my OTHER baby!

he is the most beautiful baby i have ever seen in my life.
he's so smiley.

he says, "mommy" over and over. all.day.long.
all my toddlers have done this.
sometimes it gets annoying.
not really with him.

i especially love it in the car.
he says, "mommy"
i turn and look at him, smile, blow him a kiss and say, "levi!"
and am ALWAYS thankful that he HAS a mommy to turn and smile and LOVE him!

i will ALWAYS respond to "mommy", sweet levi!!! forever and ever!

that's all i got.
i feel like i've left a lot out.
i started this earlier today and am finished it now...after a pretty hard evening.

the ones i love...i love a lot...but, man, they take it ALL out of me!