long. i mean. LOOOONNNGGGG weekend...

we kicked off the long weekend with an afternoon with the panter's! holly and her 4 girls came over to play!

10 kids. 2 hours. and MOST of the time holly and i sat on the couch and talked. about REAL, even deep (and some not so deep) stuff! it was awesome! and way overdue.

saturday i was the only one that left the house. and that was just to go for a long run (yay!) and to go to target (double yay!)

it was a good balance for the day on sunday. LONG morning at church (church happens to be one of the hardest, most frustrating places to take lincoln. so i come home completely drained and frustrated. and we were there twice as long as normal this sunday. which meant twice the drainage and frustration.)

THEN, thanks to the young's for inviting us and my parents for allowing us to GO, we went OUT for the rest of the afternoon/evening!!!

we went to a capitals hockey game with brian and peyton. i had never been to a hockey game before! it was so fun!

it helped that we were in the BEST company. and our seats were the second row back from the glass! the players were crashing into the glass right in front of us! AND they won! whoo-hoo!

there aren't words to describe my feelings for this man. trust me, they are all GOOD!

today was more of "pull it in and stay at home". we have to balance days like sunday with LOTS of time at home. for lincoln.

i'm not in a great place. i'm exhausted. i feel like ALL our energy as parents has gone to 1 child for 6 months. and 24/7 parenting. NO break, not even a second (spend a couple hours with him and you'll get what i mean.) it's not really true. i KNOW we've parented and loved our other children. i KNOW He has filled in where we can't. everyone is fine. good, even.

this is a long road. no quick fixes or easy answers. just time. and lots of hard choices that many don't understand ("no, we can't come to that." "no, i can't commit to that.") one week might be great and we can feel/do "normal" things. the next week might be a "bad" week and we pull back in with everything we have. we never know. but we DO know we are in His hands. and lincoln is in His hands. and we are all going to be ok. there are moments i'm not sure, but His promises are ALWAYS sure and i cling to that.

i am learning SO much. first, about the deep, deep ugliness of my heart. i wish i was more patient. more loving. more compassionate. i am learning.  i am also learning what HIS love and grace REALLY are. wow. the depth. the purity. how GREAT is our God! 

for those who have prayed for us. thank you. for the 2 years we waited. for our trip to bring them home. for our adjustment to being a family of 8. thank you. but, please don't stop. we still REALLY need your prayers. really.

bailey and i went to the store real quick this afternoon. because she was the only one i liked at the time :-) kidding.
kind of.
God sure knew what He was doing when He graced us with that girl!

i think pat is going to SKIP to work tomorrow! :-)