the day lincoln REALLY hugged me

i try to hug lincoln as often as i can. sometimes it's not easy, i will admit. and sometimes i choose not to, sadly.

but, i ALWAYS hug him when i get him from his bed in the morning or after his rest time. ALWAYS.

he will hug me back, but it's a quick hug and then he pulls back and wants out of my arms. there are times i don't let go. i hold on even when he pulls away. i want him to know, in some deeper place, that i will hold on no.matter.what. but sometimes i let him down right away, because i also don't want him to feel frustrated by me holding him when he wants to move on.

it has made me sad, the fact that he doesn't really hug. not so much sad for me, but for us. for the trust and love that just hasn't grown yet.

today, after his rest time, i went in and picked him up and sat on his bed and hugged him. and he laid his sweet little head on my shoulder and hugged me back. and didn't pull away. and didn't talk (!) and then he picked his head up and adjusted it and laid it back down. and kept hugging me. i couldn't believe it! i determined right then and there to NOT let go until he did. i didn't care HOW long he hugged me or what other child was screaming somewhere.

we didn't hug for 30 minutes or anything. maybe 2. but, it was the most precious 2 minutes of my day. for sure!