most days i wake up with a certain dose of patience.
it seems to run out right around 5:30/6 pm.
making for a last hour or so that always haunts me as i try to fall asleep a few hours later...
all the impatient words and even looks that i gave to my sweet kids because i was empty.
i hate that cycle of my days.
hate.it.
today?
i woke up feeling like it was 5:30 pm at 6:30 am this morning.
not good.
empty from the get-go.
i told Him that it's ALL Him today.
i have nothing.
{this is partly a result of the mere fact that i have 6 kids. but it's also partly my own consequences for being out both mon and tues nights. i NEED to get out some and connect with people i love. BUT, i just can't do it very often right now. that's a hard realization to come to. but, in an attempt to make wise decisions for my family, it's the way things are going to have to be right now. not to mention American Education Week - do you people have this at your schools?? each grade has a day (i have kids in 3 grades...so 3 days this week!) that the parents are expected to be at the school to do an activity with the class for an hour or so and then eat lunch with them. it really is great - i love being able to see my kids in their classrooms. but, it's all about to put me over the edge this week! actually, if you had been in my house about 6:15 pm last night, it clearly HAS put me over the edge!}
4 comments:
How can the "expect" parents to be there? I'm sure a lot work, are out of town and just plain busy. I have four children and that would have been just way to much. Do what you can do dear and don't put so much pressure on yourself. You are a good mom and I know you need outside contact but the most important part right now is your family. You are just beating yourself up way to much. I have no idea what it would be like bring two precious boys into your home who have had nothing including discipline. You and your family are in my prayers.
hang in there friend. i'll be praying. we do NOT have that kind of week at school. that is A LOT. i hope nap time can revive you a little
we don't have that either, but we do have take your parents to gym class. same thing except we are running around getting sweaty for 45 minutes. You're doing a good job. I find myself empty at the end of my days too. hate the feeling. praying God will erase it from my kids' minds. :)
When I was working as a nurse's aide, and going through a fibromyalgia flare, I prayed that prayer every morning, and before I walked through each patient's door.
"Lord, I have nothing to give. I am so tired. I am in so much pain. I have no patience. It's all you today, God. Fill me with your grace so it overflows and blesses my patient. I can't do it alone, Lord. help me."
Those days, I walked out their door feeling blessed at the end of the appointment, because God showed up big time. I hated those days at the beginning, and loved them at the end.
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