last week it stormed inside my house {and heart} all week.
this week it is stormy outside, but things are bright and clear in my heart.
i couldn't post them at the time.
it seemed like things looked "fine" and "happy". they were not.
but we plugged on.
there are still many tears and frustrations, but i'm learning to hold tighter to Him and not myself.
this leaves more space in me at the end of the day. i still crawl to bed in utter physical and mental and emotional exhaustion...but i am able to go in and truly revel in the miracle of each child's sleeping face in my home. {and i admit to spending longer and going deeper into sawyer's neck that smells SO distinctly him. i am so careful all day long...to show equal affection to sawyer and lincoln. it's almost painful. i have to pull back on one...and force the other at times. it is so freeing to have no limits to letting my love FEEL as i kiss him goodnight.}
i'm learning to live with the feeling that i don't know what crazy hard thing i might be dealing with in the next hour. seems like what goes up, must come down, no? :-)
5 comments:
I love how closely Lincoln is watching Rebekah in the last picture...even copying her tongue sticking out!
Miss you tons, precious friend!
oh. my. gosh. Joshua's face on that last one!
HILARIOUS!
relieved for the little bit of freedom in your heart this week.
hugs! I remember well that first year my parents adopted my 2 siblings ( I was 16!). It is hard and its draining, emotionally, physically, and mentally! But I have to say, 13 years later, those two kids are a great aunt and uncle to my kids!
Yea! NOt for the downs, but for the ups.
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