Friday, August 19, 2011

summer of 2011

i burst into tears when i went up to kiss them goodnight last night and this is what i saw.
normally bailey doesn't sleep on the floor - the girl loves her bed.

last night was their last night to do this together this summer.
and so she slept on the floor.
and they are all touching.

it says SO much to my weary, doubting heart.

this summer has been unlike any other.
it started by flying to africa and bringing home 2 sons/brothers for our family.

we've spent the rest of the summer trying to adjust to being a family of 8.
1 of those 8 takes almost ALL of mom's attention/energy/patience.
lots of adjustment for EVERYONE.

i've spent moments feeling like i'm not "doing enough"...

*that summer list i like to make and put up in our kitchen and check off as we go? i ripped it off the wall about 2 weeks ago and threw it in the trash. it was like a neon sign screaming, "YOU ARE FAILING!!!" at me everytime i looked at it. i didn't CARE {and, in my opinion, didn't need to care} if we had a movie night with popcorn. i just needed to focus on what was going on in front of me and make THIS MOMENT be what it needed to be. i couldn't think/plan ahead. it felt SO good to throw that thing away. {we will make one next summer...and the next...this just wasn't the summer for one!}

*the journals and devotions we did last summer that were SO great?? not once. i was tempted to think, "i'm not teaching my children the Bible at ALL! i'm WASTING the summer!" but then, He whispers, "you are LIVING my Word this summer. in ways you'll never be able to again. just LIVE."

*we went to the pool less because levi thinks it hilarious to try to drown himself. and i can only handle the stress of that so often.

*we stayed home a LOT. {i loved that part}

*i was cranky and impatient and distracted by my brain trying to make sense of this life going on around me

but, the kids have been SO happy. had SO much fun together. after all day of all the craziness and fighting and discipline and only seeing each other's faces...

this is how they end their day:

this sight was like God saying to my heart, "you've been right where i wanted you to be."

thank you, Jesus.

the summer of 2011. an unforgettable one for sure.


Christy said...

wow....that is powerful C----God is doing big things over there...
LOVE you :)

Beckysblog said...

Joshua's arm on Rebekah is more than I can take! So adorable!

You were right to rip that chart down. So so right!


Cassie said...

thank god you ripped it down!!!!!
good for you!
(and by the way...mine never even made it to the wall!)

Kelly said...

You are so far from failing it's not even funny. You are an incredible mom! (and there's not many people I would say that to) You checked off the biggest thing on the summer list which was bringing home two brothers from Africa. Good job for taking the list down! That picture makes me want to cry too. Precious, precious, precious! I love everything about who you are. I don't want to ever hear "failure" come out of your mouth again. :)

Katy said...

You are exactly right Courtney's. You may not have done all the "things" that you normally do, but you have lived out God in a totally amazing and unforgettable way. And at the end of the day, look at those kids! They love God. And buy do tjey love each other!!! Success! No matter what the list says!!

andrea said...


Laura said...

What an amazing moment!

Kim said...

that is precious. and ditto what everyone else said.

Laura said...

Amen, Courtney!! Your life, your sacrifice, and your love have spoken more than any lesson on paper. God doesn't always show up the way we expect Him to. He often teaches the most through our weaknesses instead of in the times we feel we have it all together. Relish this moment of "getting it." They come few and far between for me.

Julie said...

my kids always sleep like this together, touching and arms intertwined, it is soooo precious and I am so thankful that you got to see this and feel assured that God has you right where you should be!!!!

I am sorry I don't have much time to write, I do read and pray for you all the time, hugs sweet friend!

Amy said...

You know I love my lists... but it made me smile to picture you ripping yours off the wall. :) I love it.

Megan said...

There will never be another summer like it! And I totally agree that you probably did more Bible teaching this summer than you did last year with the journals. Living it out is so much bigger. Love you my friend!