moments

oh, how i am LOVING hearing the piano play every afternoon.
they are really getting it and it's just fun since i'm the teacher.
sometimes we have lessons once a week and they practice most every other day for 20 minutes each.
sometimes we have lessons once every 2 weeks and we *forget* to practice for days on end.
and it's fine!
no stress.
no pressure.
just fun and learning something new!

um, i have a new obsession. have i mentioned it??
kickboxing.
seriously.
this might sound weird, but it's hard for me to get a GOOD workout. to finish a workout and feel like i can't do anymore...i can run 12 miles...and keep going. i can swim for an hour...and keep going. not bragging. it's just what i've trained by body to do, so it does and it can. (good lesson in there if i wanted to expound on it...little by little we can train our bodies to do pretty much anything! seriously! i couldn't run 1/8 of a mile 4 years ago!)
anyways...back to kickboxing.
i tried it a couple months ago at my gym, randomly.
and, oh.my.goodness.
it's AMAZING!
i feel SO powerful when i do it! and it KICKS MY BUTT!
and, the instructor, WOW.
i don't really think of myself as an aggressive person...but when she had us pretending to smash someone's head into our knee as we brought it up to our shoulder over and over and over...something came out of me that i didn't know was in there...and it was kind of FUN! :-)
i don't know what it is. but that class is kinda the highlight of my week right now...

ok...we're calmed back down :-)

we have a little snow the other night. we were supposed to get more...but still got a 2 hour delay out of it.
made for a fun morning.
i'm just treasuring every moment i have with my kids these days.
don't get me wrong, i get frustrated...and they argue and fight...and we have plenty of HARD moments.
but, i'm just letting it all in...the bad AND the good.
the little smiles from joshua, sawyer's sweet voice, rebekah's stories from school, bailey's BIG hugs.
all of it - gifts.
and each of those things were just for me when they happened.
how blessed am i???

i was researching something the other morning and looked down and these 2 had set up camp right next to me. precious...

as much as the kindergarten schedule is hard - with the timing and all - i LOVE it. i love how it gives me sweet time with them before they head out.
1st grade is the hardest year for me to send my kids to school...the first year they go all day.

so...i was researching because pat and i decided on monday that we are going to go away this weekend!
we are taking our family to a cabin in the woods.
no tv, phone or internet.
we'll bring games and books and yummy food.
the cabin DOES have electricity and a bathroom and kitchen and a REAL fireplace!
we realized it was a 3 day weekend...and the last weekend before sports start up...so, we are taking advantage of it!

i will admit to needing to adjust to the idea.
i am pushing for a night away...just me and myself...and i thought it might happen this weekend.
i just need it.
but, i've switched gears and just bought all the groceries for our cabin and am getting excited!

my favorite stage of having kids was when all of them were 5 and under.
it was just sweet and simple and fun and i was in complete control of everything we did and ate and watched.
{yes, i'm a control freak...}

things are sure changing as they are getting older!
they have to go to school...and they play sports...and they have friends.
all GOOD things and things i want for them.
i'm embracing each age and stage as it comes.
i don't sit around yearning for "the good old days" (although i do love to look at pictures of them!)
but, every day is so precious and different and full...how could i wish for anything different??

one day i will MISS looking down and seeing these guys all set up in my kitchen! :-)
rebekah is the oldest. and hits every new age and stage first. and this new one she is hitting has me a little worked up. it involves lots of talking (which i'm not very good at) and listening to lots of *interesting* stories with *many* details and changes and smells and, well, i just don't want to screw it up!

so, instead of acting like it's not happening (tempting...) or just handing her a book (also tempting....), i'm embracing it and making something fun out of it!

rebekah loves to swim.
if you asked her what her favorite sport was, she would say, "swimming."

so, one afternoon a week we have a "date" - we go swim together at the gym (the other 3 go in the kid's club and have a blast!) and then, after we shower, we sit on some couches in the gym (a little lounge area) and we talk. i ask her questions and look her straight in her eyes and there's no 2 yr old that has to go potty all of a sudden and there's no fight that breaks out between bailey and sawyer...it's just US...

we are also discussing this book chapter by chapter. we both read it at some point during the week, and then talk about it.

i almost never have time one on one with her.
and i have to fight for this time every week.
it's not super convenient.
it's after homework is done and i should be starting dinner and it's cold and getting dark and i'm getting tired.
but, she is more important than all that.
dinner just involves a little extra planning.
and i take a few deep breaths.
and they all get to bed a little later...but it's worth it.
if you had heard her giggle last night, you would have known, it's worth it.

God is teaching me so much these days.
He's being so gentle, yet firm with me.
i'm listening...and trying to take care of myself better is one of the things i'm working on.
i indulged yesterday afternoon and laid in front of the fireplace and read and drank diet coke.
and, man, i truly think it helped SO much in how the rest of the day went!

the grace that poured out of me to my family was not forced or hard to come by...it just flowed.
thank You, Father!

i was listening to amazing grace today in the car on the way home from grocery shopping.
it's my favorite song.
ever.
other songs come and go as my "current favs" - but this will ALWAYS be my favorite.

and, it's interesting, how during diffferent seasons, different verses of amazing grace come alive.

when the song got to the 2nd verse, my breath literally caught in my throat.
i was almost gasping.
and then sobbing.

"twas grace that taught my heart to fear

and grace my fears relieved

how precious did that grace appear

the hour i first believed

my chains are gone

i've been set free

my God, my Savior

has ransomed me

and like a flood

His mercy reigns

unending love, amazing grace

but God who called me here below

will be forever mine

will be forever mine

you are forever mine

you are

you are forever mine

you are forever mine

you are forever mine...."

fears. um, yes.

His grace...do i really let it flow in? and cover my fears??

what do i need to be set free from? (yes, i know this is the "newer" version and not actual lyrics from the original "amazing grace")

what are "my chains?"

and i LOVE how in michael w smith's version, he says "you are forever mine" that many times...it takes that many times for it to get from your mouth, to your brain, to your heart, to your soul. where we finally start to hear it and believe it and take in the miracle that that is!

WE ARE FOREVER HIS.

wow.

now, go listen to it.

{and HOW i would LOVE it if one of my kids could play the piano like THAT one day! :-)}