cried til i laughed
many gatherings with special people
LOTS of yummy food
perfect long run with holly
pat's body is sick
my heart is sick
not a good combo
i go back and forth between wanting to talk...a LOT
and having nothing to say
i haven't touched my camera
this season is so full of love and hope and hurt
it always is
but it's so REAL to me this year...like never before
excited for the week ahead...for Christmas and the extended time with my whole family home
and also nervous: "what am i going to feel like?" "can i handle it?" "will i ruin it?"
lines from the songs we sang at church echoing in my head:
Our God is greater,
our God is stronger,
God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer,
Our God is Healer,
Awesome in Power,
Our God!
{Our God}
God is my shepherd
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
Like quiet streams
Even while I'm walking
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You're always with me
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
Like quiet streams
Even while I'm walking
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You're always with me
{House of God Forever}
2 comments:
Courtney, I love your transparency and how you are allowing us to "go through this" along with you. I know, without a doubt, lots of women can relate and are finding comfort in your story, your words, and your honest reflection.
You are often on my mind and I'm saying daily prayers for you sweet friend.
(Great song! We like that one too.)
it's so hard being the one who sets the *tone* for the family...so much pressure! especially around the holidays...we made christmas cookies today and i SO was not feeling it, but had to force myself through it because i know my kids NEED to have those special, fun memories!
hang in there! love you!
xoxo
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