a new groove

i'm back to "normal" running miles again (20+/week) and it feels great and i just love running
i'm still waking up even earlier and reading my Bible and giving my days to Him...but it's not as easy to love that as it is for me to love running and i hate that
rebekah and joshua leave for school when pat leaves in the morning
they are happy and ready and loving 4th and 1st grades
bailey and sawyer play together beautifully in the mornings
and they are so easy to please!
a long walk around the neighborhood with them this morning was such a delight
bailey asks, "is it lunch time yet?" many times...because it means she gets to go to school right after!
she is SO excited to get on that bus at 11:21 am each morning!
the hour or so that i get to spend with just sawyer before his nap is so so sweet
the above picture is what i see every day when i come down after putting him to bed
right before he goes to bed, i've quickly established the habit of sitting on the office floor {why? why not the 3 couches or many chairs or beds in our house?? i don't know...actually, i do...the way he turns around and backs into sitting in my lap when i sit on the floor and read to him is priceless. and worth sitting on the floor!} and letting him pick book after book and reading them and looking at pictures and letting him turn the pages as quickly...or slowly as he wants to and then heading up to bed.
it's so sweet.
naptime is spent on email and blogging and laundry and sewing and eating lunch and a short nap for myself and menu's and grocery list making.
i am learning that i NEED that 1 1/2 hours to myself.
i rarely even answer the phone during that time {sorry!}
i'm a much better wife/mom if i have that quiet time to myself...it rejuvenates me for the rest of the day.
my afternoons are not my own.
i've had YEARS where our afternoons were a whole other day.
the morning chunk of time (8-noon) was one day.
and the afternoon chunk of time (4-7 pm) was another...until pat gets home and i run away :-)
those afternoons while my kids were younger were spend on hikes...or long walks...making crafts...or cookies...cleaning...or making messes...or the kids playing outside while i catch up with a friend in person or on the phone...
but doing all the things i picture doing with my kids and loving it.

not anymore.
my afternoons are not my own anymore.
they are full of homework and communication to/from school and soccer practices.
we're barely 3 weeks in and i'm not happy about it.
trying to figure out if i need to change my attitude...or if we need to re-evaluate our choices.
probably a little of both.

but i am grieving the loss of my time in the afternoons.

our evenings so far are: tired (and sick) mommy, tired kids, tired/stressed out daddy (once he gets home)
all of us trying to get fed at some point, get bathed some nights, and end the evening on a "nice" note.
there have been some rough ones...not gonna lie...

we are still trying to get in our groove.
it feels like it's taking a LONG time.
but we are all together and blessed and making it through one morning and afternoon and evening at a time.