life is so full these days.
some days it's so full that i literally feel ill from exhaustion at the end of the day.
and have to remind myself to breathe. deep breath.
just breathe.
but it's so good.
and He gives me the exact amount of grace to get through each day...moment by moment.
sometimes i fail.
i am impatient.
or selfish.
but the grace is there.
for me to move on...and hopefully learn from it.
and He's also so faithful to provide encouragement from YOU...you know who you are.
thank you!
the lies that bombard my mind and heart are constant...but HIS truth is stronger.
and i cling to it.
packed the kids and scooters/stroller up yesterday afternoon.
went for a "hike" with 4 precious people.
the gnats drove me crazy.
the older 2 were so far ahead and i didn't really get to talk to them much except when we stopped to throw rocks and find treasures.
we weren't able to linger because we had a baseball game and soccer practice.
but it was great.
we were together.
outside.
in the sunshine.
and sometimes that's enough.
not perfection.
but still great.
because, really, nothing is ever perfect anyways, right??
have had an exhausting week with rebekah.
lots of conversations and praying...for her and with her.
she is a deep girl (where does she get that??) and i am so so proud of her and who she is.
but, man, my heart is exhausted from it all!
a few families leave today to go meet and pick up their children in Rwanda.
so very excited for them!!!
hurting for the families that thought they would be traveling and aren't yet.
and my heart is heavy...for the 2 boys that will be ours one day.
it always makes it that much more real when families are over there.
we have a LONG wait ahead of us...i'm not anxious...yet :-)...but it still hurts.
love this picture.
don't look too closely...rebekah's eyes are closed...sawyer is screaming because bailey is squeezing his hand to death.
but they are mine today.
and life is full.
they were really cute together yesterday.
they don't get much time - just the 2 of them - anymore.
i loved watching it.
joshua got to be catcher at his game.
it's a big deal :-)
it wasn't supposed to be bath night...
this sweet little kid has started throwing temper tantrums.
it's the most hysterical, frustrating, cute, maddening part of my day.
so i have nothing to complain about.
we are home this morning.
no gym.
no errands.
i used to be home ALL THE TIME.
life is just so much more full of "stuff" these days it seems like.
i prefer to be home.
i would choose it everyday if i could.
today i did.
we've played "war" and "candyland"
changed sheets
did bailey's hair "fun"
listened to each other and looked in their eyes
read books
drove cars
we have a good weekend ahead of us.
after a month of CRAZINESS we are taking this weekend to be together.
we've had to protect and say "no" and i am so looking forward to the time together.
life is so so full.
4 comments:
=)
in a rush, so this is all i got after enjoying that post...
i think you would like the ortberg talk i listened to yesterday. it was on grace and everyday life and the river of it that runs through us to get us through the days, and how more churches and pastors need to understand that discipleship as a mom is different from most of the disciplines suggested these days...
and that every moment of each day as we care for our kids is forming us spiritually,,,yada yada yada...i was thinking the same thing, but thought i might be off. then i heard NT Wright say it a few weeks ago, then Ortberg, and a few others. Willard. Anywho, that's the deal. It's good. I imagine it might be in gospel-parenting, and belle is now singing and humming and i can't make sense.
=) ha.
probably paying attention to her sing how much she loves me is something i should now invest in...even thought she told me i could wait til "i was done with your computer". ah. yeah, going... =)
shalom-
Hi Courtney,
Totally identify with the balancing act. Have felt we are too "full" these days. Rushing, rushing, rushing....feels like always....and it doesn't feel right.
Working on slowing down and choosing what's best.
Easy to say, hard to do.
So glad you took the time to "be" with your kiddos and you are today too. You are a great mom.
those are our days too. i try to be so purposeful with our time and what we choose to do with it. but this time of the year, i feel like things spin out of control. i feel rushed and that we aren't mainting the routine things that are so important. i have been praying about it as i have been running in the morning. praying what to say yes to and what to say no to. it is hard isn't it! today, i am mortified to say that i fell asleep in mid-sentance as i was reading to the girls. ugh!! thanks for sharing your heart. praying for you - you are an awesome mom! enjoy your weekend!
I feel the exact same way about parenting Jayla that you do Rebekah. She is intense and deep and so many good things - and I am so proud of her too - and parenting her can be really exhausting.
Love that picture of Sawyer's hand reaching down with his little foot is in the background! Cute!!
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