Thursday, January 28, 2010

stilled

"Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distractions. Instead of stilling the center, the axis of the wheel, we add more centrifugal activities to our lives - which tend to throw us off balance."

Anne Morrow Lindbergh


oh, how i needed this week.
i knew i did.
my spirit was almost screaming for it.
but i can't force myself to slow down...and certainly not to be still.

i needed to be stilled.

i'm not glad that sawyer and joshua got sick.

but God truly does work for the good of those who love Him!
(Romans 8)

i fought it the first day.
but after battling Him in my mind, i gave in and chose to embrace it...to enjoy it...

i am so much calmer in my spirit than i am on a "normal" week.
i'm definitely thinking through a lot of things as a result of this...do i need to change some things?
i really don't feel like i DO that much.
i truly do love to be at home (not just an "at-home mom" but i LOVE being in my HOUSE).
re-evaluating is always a good thing and this week has prompted some of that.

and even though i've gotten some projects/chores done around here that i probably wouldn't have done...and i've played more on the floor with my kids than i would have...and i've danced with my kids more than i would have...and i had the time to plan some *fun* meals for next week instead of the same old, same old...it's more than that...

i've been still in my spirit.
not still-stagnant.
but still and listening...
to Him...
to His spirit.


instead of screaming at Him my urgent requests each morning, i've calmly talked to Him throughout the day.
thanked Him for the little things.
asked Him about the big things.

oh, i've still had my moments...with multiple children crying at once...and things getting spilled...and arguing...i don't want to paint some sort of ridulous picture for you.

but it's more about what's been going on in my heart as a result of the outward forced change to be still.

and it's been good.
and i'm thankful.
{and also very ready to go to the gym! :-)}

i also don't think it a coincidence that i picked up this book off my nightstand {with no less than 30 books piled up waiting to be read...}
awesome read.
and she is a mom...5 kids...and also the first woman to earn a first class glider pilot's license...so she's not just the kind of woman that sits and knits all day...but she recognizes the value in simplifying...she GETS it!
and this book is amazing!

4 comments:

Peyton said...

um, you don't think you DO that much? just reading about your days makes me exhausted and I fully mean that. you do more than almost anyone I know, that's not a criticism and not a compliment it just is the truth. sorry this week has been so hard but good for you for making the most of it! looking forward to seeing you guys on sat.

Holly said...

picture of your nightstand please? ;-)

Sarah said...

i love that book courtney and read it every yr to remind myself to be more still and simplify...praying that both the boys are on the mend soon! ive been thinking about you and praying for them! :)

Katy said...

a coincidence? i don't think so. sounds like a wonderful week after all!! :)