it feels wrong to talk about anything else.
yet how can any words do it justice??
it's so awful.
i heard about it way later than most.
we never have tv/radio on...it wasn't until midday yesterday as i was clicking on a few blogs that i began to realize what had happened.
i admit, at first i didn't want to let the words enter my heart.
but the pictures forced themselves in.
and my heart was broken.
i thought of little else the rest of the day.
the day was tainted with horror.
and i wasn't even remotely affected...i can't even begin to imagine the millions affected...
i had watched this video earlier in the day.
and something he said kept echoing through my mind all day long...
"is my first intuition here to fix it or to feel it??"
sometimes it's easier to just try and FIX things for others...rather than FEEL their pain and really walk alongside them.
it would be a lot easier to just click on some site and donate money to send to Haiti than to spend some serious time in prayer for them...and to sit my children down and explain what has happened to them and pray with them...to teach them how to "weep with those who weep."
as i was sitting on my knees in front of joshua and bailey on the couch talking to them...explaining...answering questions...and praying...i saw Him.
He was in my anguish over it all.
He was in my desperate answers to my kids...so that they would "get" it.
and He was in Bailey's confident response {one of the things i talked about was that there would be many more orphans because of this...because some mommies and daddies died but not the children}, "OH! We can just adopt them, mom! WE can be their family!"
i'm NOT saying not to send money.
AT ALL.
if you read from the people who live there...MONEY is what they need the MOST!
so send it!
PLEASE!!!
but don't let your heart off the hook.
you will miss the mark.
you will miss Him.
and He is there.
it doesn't seem like it or look like it...but i KNOW that He is there...
{you can help here or here or here...and there are MANY more!!!}
2 comments:
Christian and I talked about it on the way to preschool yesterday. We prayed together and pleaded with God to have mercy on those affected. Christian knew I was upset and I think it's good for him to see my tears and hear my brokeness over things like that. When we were done Christian asked me if he could take his new Handy Manny tools to Haiti to help build "those poor people" new houses :) I love that...his little heart starting to get it. Then he said "maybe I should pick one of my good toys to send to them." Love it that he said "good toy" b/c we've talked so much about giving others our best, not our left overs. I'm thankful that God allowed it to be a teachable moment for both of us. I'm so thankful that the Lord has kept it on my mind and heart...praying that he continues to for years to come.
it is ripping me apart.
apart.
i heard this morning from our church staff that help is making its way though the Dominican. We have people on the ground, and they are getting there. And mobilization is beginning to take place. And money is starting to go.
But the orphans.
It was all I could do to not scream at aircraft not carrying me on them yesterday...
And, wow.
A country so terribly impoverished?
It seems, well as I heard Brian Williams say, "perverse."
Blessed are those who mourn, for He is with them.
We follow that God. but man. it is so sad. ravaging.
thank you for including your kids. their sweet hearts will be formed because of that, and they will be adults who say on the floor with their mom and were formed in this time. grace and peace-
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