{the ones behind pat and i in this picture}
sawyer is VERY hard to photograph these days.
he never stops moving.
and he wants to grab the camera!
while sitting in the highchair was the best method so far...
he's trying to look around me to see bailey :-)
this was just going to be pictures of sawyer.
but now that i'm here i'm feeling the need to "dump" some stuff on my mind.
so, against my better judgement, here we go...
my kids are driving me crazy.
arguing, complaining, lazy...ugly stuff.
i'm trying my best to be consistent and intentional...but i'm tired of it.
all of it.
seemingly contradictory...i'm also feeling frustrated with "life" these days.
our days seem too busy.
i try to be intentional about what we do and don't do.
we don't do much "extra".
and i try to be home as much as possible.
but i often feel rushed and like i'm rushing the kids.
and i don't like that.
is it just life with 4 little kids?
or do i need to make different choices?
"stuff" {cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping} HAS to be done...and we can't always play and read...but where is the balance??
is it {the rushing feeling} inside of me...in my spirit?
or is it how my kids feel, too?
trying to analyze all that and make wise decisions.
i do NOT want to look back on these days and wish i did something differently.
i feel like i'm gaining weight and i don't know why.
{i haven't weighed myself in a long time...i'm going by clothes fitting...i get too focused on the scale and it's not healthy}
if i knew why it would be one thing...but i'm exercising and eating {pretty} well...{and still NO ice cream and/or candy!}
it makes me feel gross.
and cranky.
i might just go back to ice cream and candy...
this is ridiculous.
{this is the picture i'm using on the wall. but in black and white.}
i'm determined to be DONE Christmas shopping by Dec 1.
i haven't started.
{you should start here}
i can't wait to share WHY this is a huge goal for me this year...hopefully by the end of next week!
pat and i are so good right now.
just in one of those "good" phases.
laughing a lot.
hugging a lot.
"getting" each other.
doing the "little" things that mean so much.
even with our insanely busy days...we are making time for each other and it feels good.
i recently read this book.
"Adopted for Life" by Russell D. Moore.
and i will get around to sharing more about it.
but everyone should read it...not just those adopting...but everyone that has been "adopted" as a son or daughter of Christ.
{well, now...that's a serious face!}
i'm trying very hard to tell my kids each day one thing that i love about them
{i love how you smile...i love how you get up so happily in the morning...i love how you are so quick to offer to help...i love that you love to read}
is it just me or are those eyes BEEEEYOUTIFUL?!?
and with this last beautiful picture i will end this most random and long post.
thanks for bearing with me.
{aren't i blessed to get to kiss that cheek hundreds of times a day??}
6 comments:
Cute pictures of your cute boy. Clover is terribly hard to take pictures of these days too and it makes me so sad! I used to have tons and now have few....
I was trying to say something about the other stuff you said, but it was sounding lame, so I'll skip it and just say, I feel your pain :)
Absolutely ~ the most BEAUTIFUL eyes! They are truly stunning. Courtney, being a mom is a place of constant wondering if we "have" the balance of responsibility (cleaning, laundry, etc) and spending time with the kids. It just never goes away. I can tell you from experience that you will NEVER regret time spent with your kids. It is a tough thing to figure out....cause we have to do the other stuff in life. You are aware and all we can do is the best we can each day. Love you!
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, and I saw you yesterday and you are NOT gaining weight ~ nope, not at all. Enjoy the snickers soon!
Cute pictures, Sawyer has the cutest blue eyes, sweet baby boy. Hang in there, life with 4 kids is insane and in no time soon you will have 2 more to make 6. No there are never enough hours in the day, I promise you that, but when you are having cranky days its the good days that balance it out because not every day is going to be "fun" some days are just going to be busy. So don't beat yourself up, the balancing act is just the part of life that is no fun..And by the way you look amazing, regardless if you have gained weight or not, stop beating yourself up. You are an awesome mom and one day when your kids are grown you will look back and say I did the best I could and I know that God forgives me for the mistakes I made and the kids love me despite my humane frailties.
great pics! love Joshua's hair. i am feeling the same way these days. and i only have 2, so nervous for 3! i think you do a really great job. can't wait to hear your Dec. plans. I am sure its something intentional :)I'd love to be done by then too. I am hosting Christmas for the first time this year, yikes!
love those pictures!!
love hearing your heart...
I was trying to say something meaningful too, but nothing is coming out right so I'll just say---
I love you! :)
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