Wednesday, March 18, 2009

tug of war

"Come to me..." He says.
and i do.
every {most} mornings at 5:25 am.
i come to Him and give Him my day. my moments. my tasks. my heart. my desires. my confession.

and then i take it back.
within minutes.

then give it back to Him as i feel my heart racing and my mind getting consumed.
and then i take it back.

it's ridiculous how many times this tug of war happens in the course of my day.
more this week than most.
i'm not sure why.

but i'm frustrated with it.
frustrated with myself.

and trying to keep RUNNING to Him.
i want Him to win the tug of war.

3 comments:

Ali said...

He HAS won, dear friend. Just the fact that you are tugging back is proof of it. Perhaps if Jesus is the rope, then we only need to have a hand around it. He is doing the rest. Praying for Rest, for your weary soul!

Alden and Dorian said...

It is truly a day by day....moment by moment yielding isn't it Courtney. Our desire is to be obedient to Him, to love Him more than all that is around us....but the distractions of this world are real. Your desire to keep your eyes and heart on Him is what He asks and desires. You are living for Him!

Tammy said...

Yes, this is the daily struggle of the Christian life. You are not alone in this, but it is common to all His children I believe. Makes you appreciate His patience and love towards us all the more. It is good that you struggle with this, but don't be too hard on yourself. You are only a sinful human, and your Loving Father knows this and He knows your heart even when your flesh is weak.